Literary scat for the mind, including thoughts and insight on the world of TV, Movies, Video Games, Books, and other fun distractions in a consumer world.

Monday, February 27, 2006

31 Going On 13

Yesterday I turned 31 and spent the morning celebrating my 10 day old nephew's Bris. Bagel anyone??? I'll spare the play by play; let's just say I can now officially take 'Watching a person have his foreskin removed' off my list of 'Experiences I Least Look Forward That Are Comparable to Getting Punched in the Testicles". Other formally listed items already removed include "Get Five Root Canals in a Year" and "Experience Getting Fingernail Removed". Good Times!

On a lighter note, enjoy this quick flick: Predator in 10 Seconds.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Music to a Movie Geek's Ears

If you're a movie geek and you don't have 1) a paid XM satellite radio subscription 2) a paid AOL.com account, or 3) DirecTV, you're missing greatest thing since sliced pineapple: XM Radio Channel 822, also known as Cinemagic- the only music station that plays nothing but soundtracks, scenes and interviews from movies.

My discovery happened one Sunday morning late fall of 2005. I was lounging on my couch, sipping on some Twinnings Earl Grey with Splenda, perusing the Arts and Leisure section of the Times. I flipped on my TV, selected my favorite Music Choice channel (80's), and noticed it was no longer there. After being initially very pissed, I realized a few moments later that what took its place and the rest of those channels was XM satellite radio, which composed of essentially the same mix of genre stations, with one exception- Cinemagic. My load almost hit the TV set right then and there.

I'm probably one of a small percentage of movie fans out there who listen to movie scores and soundtracks, so this post may have little interest to many of you out there. However, something occurred to me earlier this week that compelled me to write about it.

I was at work, listening to this station on my computer (via AOL), when all of a sudden while typing a hostile email to a co-worker, the micro hairs on my neck stood on end. Shivers ran down my spine. It took me a second to register the movie, but once I did, I couldn't believe my ears. Playing was the soundtrack to Day of the Dead, the George Romero zombie flick from the mid 80's (from the guy that made Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead (the original). I couldn't believe they were actually playing music from such an obscure movie, with an even more arcane score that so few people would recognize, me being one of them. The movie performed terribly at the box office, was gory as shit, and kept me up nights for the next several years after I saw it (at age 10- thanks Dad). Listening to the music brought me back to that age, and moments from that film that to this day I can't erase from my mind.
Damn zombies.

Experiencing the film again struck an emotional nerve, so much so, I was compelled to send an email to XM, acknowledging them for their fine work. While I was at it, I also provided a few suggestions of soundtracks I'd like to hear, including Predator, Crimson Tide, and music by John Williams. A few days later, I received an email from XM Radio- a response! Someone actually wrote me back thanking me for the feedback. A real human being, none of that "Thank you for your feedback SUBSCRIBER NAME HERE" crap- this email came from programming director himself and it wasn't a form email. Not only that, he informed me that my request has been submitted and to tune in Monday at around 8:02pm ET to hear them.

In a world of automated phone tellers....
In a world of heavily accented outsourced customer care centers...
In a world of shady cable and phone operators (F.O. Cablevision!)....
This is what I call customer friggin' service.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I Can Eat a Knob at Night...for $1.95*

You can thank these three English blokes for spoiling what was until now a podcast-world free of capitalism. Starting next week, The Ricky Gervais Show, a comedy podcast hosted by the creators of The Office (the British TV show and the American version), will begin charging fans $1.95 an episode, and $6.95 for a season (at least 4 episodes). Speaking as a fan of the first twelve free episodes that just concluded, this, quite frankly, blows.

I can't say I'm surprised by the move, considering how popular the show has become in the UK and in the US- it is currently the number two podcast on Apple's iTunes, and has just entered the Guinness Book of World Records as the most downloaded podcast ever (in the short history of podcasting) at over 5 million. If you have not had a chance to listen to the show yet, you can still grab the last four shows from the first (free) season here. However, there are a few references to previous episodes, so I recommend you listen to each show in chronological order. If you enjoyed The Office, you'll enjoy this.

You may think, "Hey mister 'I need an 63' Plasma and an RPG', what's with the cheapness, tighty tightwad?" My beef isn't so much the $1.95 they will now charge for something that was free just a week ago, but more so the precedent they're setting in monetizing the growing digital medium of open personal expression. My prediction is that this continues to be a successfully downloaded series, and not long after others will begin to follow suit. I currently subscribe to more than 10 podcasts, and although three are NPR and PBS podcasts, which will remain free (thank you Helena Rubinstein Foundation!), the other seven plus I imagine will begin charging a fee to download, and that is just some cold shit right there.

A simple alternative would be to use a traditional broadcast ad revenue model- sell audio ads at the beginning, middle, and end of the shows, but considering that podcasts are still a niche market and have not yet 'gone mainstream', I would guess it's still a hard sell to advertisers given the small but growing audience podcasts currently attracts.

Bottom line, the future doesn't bode well for podcasts, or for any free digital content currently available on the web for that matter. Where the line will be drawn eventually as to how 'free' the internet is...time will tell. All I can advise is, as Chuck D best put it: "Fight the powers that be."

*The title of this post references a recurring joke on The Ricky Gervais Show's podcast: During a discussion between hosts Ricky Gervais and Karl Pilkington about a reality TV show, where contestants were asked to eat an animal's penis, Karl commented that he could not eat an animal's penis in the morning because he has a delicate stomach.

Karl then proclaimed, "I could eat a knob at night."... After Gervais mused on the show that the soundbite could be used in a dance remix, within a few days the Internet filled with dance songs using the soundbite as a hook. Listen to these sound mixes here.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Getting...older ...must ...spend... more ...money...

So it's about a week until my 31st birthday, and thus begins an annual mental exercise I go through just about every year since I was a kid- I think about buying crap I absolutely have no need for whatsoever. Why does this yearly phenomenon occur? The shameful conclusion that I've drawn is simple yet quite unsettling: I am a slave to the American consumer marketing machine.

This conclusion is troubling to me for two reasons. The first reason is that I consider myself to be a fairly simple guy with simple tastes. Although I can appreciate the finer things in life on occasion (a nice glass of wine, a decent meal at a restaurant), I really don't consider myself a spendthrift when it comes to buying consumer goods. Example 1: There are t-shirts I still wear that are over 15 years old (that Marshal Law comic book t-shirt is impeccably made). Example 2: If there was no other food in my apartment, I'd be totally content with eating hot dogs 7 nights straight (don't be hating the processed Grade D beef products...it's the gift that keeps on giving).

The second reason is that I work in the advertising and marketing industry, so theoretically one would think that my exposure to this field would enable me to look through the barrage of consumer messages and see them for what they truly are- a series of smoke and mirrors imagery geared to temporarily hypnotize you in believing that something is missing from your life, persuading you that only you have the ability (and money) to alleviate that itchy 'buy me ' sensation. But no, not me. Apparently all these ads unconsciously give me a mental erection.

But I digress. I accept this behavioral dichotomy about myself, and now will revel in it.

Below is an edited list of things I've pondered purchasing for myself if I ever got that crack cocaine business off the ground in the early 90s:

1) Xbox 360

Price: $400
Why the hell do I need it?: It's the first and only 'next gen' game console out there. So what if there are only a handful of games available currently that I don't have any interest in, it matches my Ipod!

2) 63' Samsung plasma HDTV

Price: $10,000
Why the hell do I need it? There's no point in buying an Xbox 360 if you don't have an HDTV. And if I'd get an HDTV, it may as well be a plasma. And if it's a plasma, it may as well be as freakishly big as possible.


3) NVGs (Night Vision Goggles)

Price: $400
Why the hell do I need it? So I can see at night (duh). Not only do these look badass, I'd probably save a lot of money on my electric bill just by keeping the lights off in my apartment after sunset and wear these on my head. I'd definitely need to remember to take these off when paying the delivery guy.

4) Capuchin monkeys (2)

Price: unknown
Why the hell do I need it? How could you not want one of these, or two for that matter! I don't know exactly what I'd do with them, but I'd imagine my two cats would get along just fine. Can you say 'Tag Team Battle of the Species"?

5) RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade)

Price: unknown
Why the hell do I need it? Ever since I saw that scene in Die Hard when one of Hans Gruber's cronies blows up the RV in front of Nakatomi Plaza, I've always thought it would be fun to own one of these. However, considering this is now the weapon of choice for the Iraqi insurgency, I think my need for one of these bad boys is wearing off.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Old Time Basketball


On my last post I think I gave NBA basketball a bad rap. Once in a while, I have to admit, I do enjoy catching those classic moments of the game- moments that put you in awe as you watch these six to seven+ foot tall warriors battle it out on the court.

'Yinka Dare' was kind enough to put a compilation of these classic moments together. My personal favorites involve Shawn Bradley "Fighting Vehicle". (I don't know if people actually call him that, but if not, they should...until they watch these clips). Enjoy.

(Warning: contains strong content that some viewers may find offensive, although probably no one that would be reading my blog).






Tuesday, February 14, 2006

99 - Double Down?

The past few days the sports media has been swarming around this controversy over the illegal gambling ring allegedly linked to Wayne Gretzky's wife, model/actress Janet Jones, and his assist coach of the Phoenix Coyotes, Rick Tocchet. The news is buzzing over 'The Great One's' possible knowledge or involvement, especially now that The Olympics are in full swing and Wayne just landed in Torino to report for active duty as executive director of Canada's Olympic team, which begins competing tomorrow.

My question is- does anyone give a rat's ass?

You know it's a slow news day in sports when hockey is on the front page. This time of year is always a little difficult for most sports fans...no fantasy football, baseball is still months away- does anyone still watch basketball with all those egomaniacs and non-respecting, playa hater, ball hogging 'superstars'?

My point is that if the Olympics weren't happening right now, I doubt this story would anything but a fifty word snippet buried next to the horse track results in the paper. I'm a big hockey fan and even I could care less about this. Janet Jones is a rich actress/supermodel, so whatever happens to her, I'm sure she deserves it. Rick Tocchet, I hated that guy when he played for the Philadelphia Flyers, and he looks like pure evil, so in my book he already guilty. At least his orange jumpsuit in 'the pen' will match is Flyers colors from back in the day, so he won't be so out of his element. I wonder Rick if you can request to be #92 at San Quentin, so it'll be just like the old times, sitting in the penalty box, except when the guy sitting in the 'box' with you tells you that you must pee in the toilet sitting down, and that you answer when he calls you Betty.

As for Gretzky, Mr. Golden Boy with the porcelain dentures- how could he possibly be involved in such corruption? He was a NY Ranger. Gimme a break, eh?

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Winter Finally Shows It's Got Some Balls

The theme this weekend seemed to be Winter, with a capital W. How could it not be- there's about 20 inches of the white stuff outside my apartment building and most of the East Coast. The Winter Olympics are all over TV. I'm recovering from a cold (a Winter ailment), and to top it off, the NY Rangers secured the #1 position in their division in the NHL (a Winter sport) going into the Olympic break. I was even compelled to pick up a hockey game for my Xbox this weekend, knowing that I'd be snowbound and worried that my small attention span would drive me bonkers indoors without some fresh Xbox stimulation (I finished Far Cry Instincts about 2 weeks ago.)

Other than watching the Olympics and playing NHL 2k6, I was also able to dabble into Flickr. Check out the new module on the right - I plan to add more as I shoot stuff.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Grizzly Bear, 1 - Man with Much Grizzly Love, 0

On more than one occasion I've fantasized about grabbing my backpack, stuffing it with the bare essentials, and escaping this city... to a simpler life, surrounded by earth's grassy landscape, filled with massive trees, fresh air, mountainous peaks and beautiful wildlife. It's this open expanse called the Great American Wilderness where I'd live off the land, learn to survive using the most basic instruments, and be one with nature, forever.

Then, something with the weight of a sledgehammer shatters this dream back into harsh reality. Sometimes my pop culture addiction reels me back in - "Well, if I leave now, I'll never know how Jack Bauer finds those terrorists with that nerve gas," or "I was really looking forward to playing Halo 3 when that comes out and buying an Xbox 360 eventually." Other times I think about the family and friends I'd leave behind, and my 2 cats: "Who will scoop up their turds and saturated pee/litter clumps?"

This time, the sledgehammer was a documentary that made me think, "what the hell was I thinking! It's friggin' suicide out in them thar hills! A bunch of wild animals are just waiting to bite a chunk out of my Asian ass and stockpile my nuts for winter! F-that!"

I caught this documentary, Grizzly Man, on the Discovery Channel the other day. It's about a grizzly 'expert' / wildlife granola dude, Timothy Treadwell, who spends 13 summers in Alaska's Katmai National Park studying and living among the grizzles ...UNARMED! The story's irony, as you can guess, is that this poor bastard ends up being eaten alive by the very thing he covets most in life. The kicker? The girlfriend he brings on this fateful trip also bites it.

The most fascinating thing about this film was that most of the story is told by Tim himself, through the hours and hours of footage he shot with his camcorder. From this unique first person narrative, you really get inside this guy's head, and you start to understand why would anyone want to get this close to these awesome but feral beasts, knowing at any moment, you're one grizzly bitch slap away from getting your head ripped clean off your shoulders and sent floating down a cold Alaskan stream...'salmon food' if you will.

Watching this film reminded me of my solo backpacking trip I took to the Adirondacks, September 2003. On the third night of a five night trip, sleeping in a lean-to with three other hikers, I heard the sound of branches crackling and some 'thing' huffing, like someone trying to blow a booger out of his nose by putting one finger against one nostril and blowing really hard, except much, much more frightening. We all sat up, leaned out of our lean-to toward where the sound was coming from, and saw two glowing orbs looking right at us, 30 ft. away. Two hikers aimed their flashlights on the orbs as I ran to get my Leatherman and hiking poles (at the time I thought it was a good idea).

When I returned, I almost crapped myself. In full Mag-lite visibility, this beast was GINORMOUS, and it was eating all our food! Apparently, this bear was quite skillful at breaking into bear bags strung up 20 ft. in the air. Although we were livid that our food, which should have lasted several days, was disappearing before our eyes, we hoped that it satiated the bear so it wouldn't come at us for its second course. After some non-intimidating shouts and banging, the bear eventually swaggered away, almost like it was saying "not bad, perhaps a little lighter on the mayo next time, huh boys".

That bitch cut my trip short two days.

I haven't been backpacking since, but I plan to this spring... unless that's when Halo 3 comes out.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Gays, Cowboys, and a Flying DeLorean?

Mashups. Gotta love 'em. Though I haven't still yet seen Brokeback Mountain, I can't help but appreciate this quality adaptation of a Zemeckis classic.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Boy Meets Fist


While millions this weekend were anxiously awaiting Sunday's Superbowl Championship Game between the Pittsburgh Steelers vs. the Seattle Seahawks, celebrating all the American goodness that comes with it- overeating, gambling, drinking, watching corporate America piss away $2.5 million faster than you can chew and swallow a mouthful of potato salad- I was just as excited for another battle- one that involves arm locks, kimuras, rear naked chokes, and lots o' fists in the face. This past Saturday, Las Vegas' Mandalay Bay hosted the highly anticipated UFC bout between two of the most dangerous, bad ass mofos in the mixed martial arts world- Chuck 'The Iceman" Liddell and Randy 'The Natural' Couture. With Couture taking the first fight in a dominating full-mounted ground and pound fashion (that's UFC fight speak, not a catchy lewd term -i.e. 'rusty trombone'), and Liddell striking his way to victory in the re-match, this finale was going to guarantee one thing- someone was going to get seriously f-ed up.

In the end, Couture wound up eating one too many of The Iceman's fists in round 2, and the fight was stopped to prevent any permanent damage to an already mashed up mug. Not long after the announcer formally declare Liddell the victor did Couture shockingly announce his retirement from beating the ever living piss out of people within an eight sided chainlink fence.
Here's the full recap.

If you've never seen one of these fights, don't knock its legitimacy as a sport. This is as technical as it is brutal, and believe it or not, it's actually safer in many ways than boxing. For one, the bouts are shorter- between 3-5 five min. rounds, so the number of blows to the head are less. Less blows to the head = less chance of brain damage. Good, yes? Also, a UFC referee will stop the fight immediately as soon as a fighter appears defenseless. A boxer on the other hand, can get his clock cleaned and drop multiple times each round, but as long as he can stand back on his feet and show the ref they can still lift his gloves within 10 seconds, off he goes on another visit to hamburger face city, which can last up to 12 rounds.

Here's a recent LA Times article on the growing sport of mixed martial arts (MMA), and the big business juggernaut the UFC is becoming.