Blade: "I Don't Do...Taxes"

What the hell happened Wesley? What's with the thumbs up? Don't you know you're facing 16 years in the Big House?!

I remember when I first saw you in Major League as Willy Mays Hayes ("hit like Mays, run like Hayes," or was it the other way around?)- your future looked so promising. I forgot that you were also in the football classic Wildcats before that. Between taking over The Carter in New Jack City, and getting into Annabella Sciorra's italian pants in Jungle Fever, there was no stopping you. Then you teamed up with Mr. Hemp himself in White Men... and became a household name.

Then Mr. New Jack City became Sell Out City, with a running diarrhea of crap like Passenger 57 ('always bet on black'), Rising Sun with Sir Connery, Demolition Man with Rocky Balboa, and of course To Wong Foo, among others.

I recall my up close and personal moment with you while attending the NY premiere of your shitty baseball thriller movie, The Fan, with Bobby DeNiro. It was the summer of my freshman year in college, while interning at Sony Pictures' Mandalay Entertainment in Manhattan. You are much shorter in real life, kinda like I predict I would react when seeing Tom Cruise in person. Though the movie was horrendous, I did enjoy the glamour and glitz of the premiere, and meeting Mark Messier and Brian Leetch, both drunk of their rockers at Planet Hollywood's afterparty, was a moment I won't forget. I also recall that you were with an asian chick, even before if was en vogue for black men to 'git wit' asian women (see Tiki Barber). A true pioneer you were Mr. Snipes.

A few year's later, you became Blade, with 2 sequels, you became cool again. But now this tax evasion stuff...c'mon man! You ain't Nino Brown! You're Wesley Freakin' Trent Snipes!

Beat this man! Don't let them take you down. To quote a favorite crappy movie title of your's: Play it to the Bone!