Literary scat for the mind, including thoughts and insight on the world of TV, Movies, Video Games, Books, and other fun distractions in a consumer world.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Start the Summer Off Right... With Some Ground and Pound

On my drive home this afternoon after a nice three-day weekend in the Catskills, far removed from the city, I pondered what a relaxing time it's been- kayaking and canoeing on the lake, fishing bass and pickerel, playing cards with the family, biking the quiet roads of the upper Hudson Valley. My mind was clear of all the distractions I left behind- work, chores, TV, Internet. However, one thought from the connected world lingered within my mind: UFC 60 was this Saturday.

(For anyone who's not been following this blog (shame on you), and doesn't know what the UFC is at this point, you can get a primer from my previous post here.)

My fight of the weekend: a 15 inch bass

This past Saturday was the big fight between the current welterweight champion, Matt Hughes, versus the world-revered jiu-jitsu fighter, Royce Gracie. The hype-machine cup was frothing over, building this match as one for the ages- the country farm born, straw-chewing, XYience-drinking hick who happens to be arguably the best pound-for-pound mixed martial artist in the world, against the return of a fighting legend whose family lineage helped create what we know as mixed martial arts and the Ultimate Fighting Championship today. In the process, he also made wrestling half-naked men on the ground absolutely baaad assss. Trivia note: The Gracie family started the original Ultimate Fighting Championship to prove that their style of martial arts (Gracie jiu-jitsu) was the best, as it pitted different styles of martial arts against each other- Karate vs. Judo, Kung Fu vs. Boxing, etc. The first UFC confirmed that theory, this match would again put the Gracie jiu-jitsu style to the test.


As always, the UFC is televised via pay per view, and as always, I neither pay for it, nor do I go to a local Hooters to watch it live. All weekend, I yearned to find out who won and how. The only time I watched TV at the lake house was to see if the local sports news anchor happened to cover it- no such luck. Then I checked the local paper to see if it was mentioned anywhere in the sports section, to no avail. Only until this afternoon back home and wired was I able to get the lowdown. And thanks to YouTube, and fans that love to share, I get to watch it too!



NOTE: this video is viewable as of May 29, 6:59pm ET. I presume once the UFC digital police come back on to work tomorrow, they'll have YouTube remove any user created digital recordings of this event, as they've done in the past. So enjoy it while it lasts. To see other fights of that evening (while they're up), search for 'UFC 60.'

To meet the demand of viewing this and other classic bouts when you want it, the UFC is finally getting into the online 'On-Demand' video realm by launching 'UFC On Demand'. However, since I'm on a Mac and don't meet the system requirements currently, I'm unable to see what they have to offer, so I'm forced to continue getting my fill from YouTube's generous copyright infringing members.

For those still not convinced this sport is catching on and spreading into the mainstream like ebola in the Sudan, the TV trade publication TV Week just today reported that Fox Sports, MTV2, and Oxygen (yes, that chick channel brought to you by this woman) have all got on the mixed martial arts bandwagon. After seeing the success that Spike TV has had with televising events and creating a popular reality based show around the sport, all three networks are planning to produce similar themed programming based on mixed martial arts. It looks like the corporate suits are starting to get over the violent stigma tied to the sport and are seeing green behind those bloodied faces.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Ma Takes Bauer Down. Down to Chinatown

Never underestimate the cunningness of the Chinese government, particularly in the world of 24, where loose ends always seem to have their way of coming back with a vengeance and biting Jack Bauer in his lost boy ass.

In last night's season finale, in stunning fashion, China's deputy consul, Cheng Zhi (played by Tzi Ma), strikes back within the final minutes of Jack Bauer's day, roughing him up, kidnapping him, tossing him on a ship to China, and leaving Audrey Raines alone, as she heads to IHOP for a Grand Slam Breakfast for one.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed Day 5, I personally found this season a bit more over-the-top than past seasons for some reason. Perhaps it was that the show spent three hours hunting down a tape recorder that was destroyed in a matter of seconds so ridiculously easy, when they could have simply made copies of it immediately onto Jack's PDA once he had it (don't even tell me that PDA thing doesn't have a voice recorder function to it) - or was it the randomness of James Heller deciding to drive off a cliff and die, then coming back to life, but for no apparent reason (at least for now), the stupid easy way Bierko escaped from CTU, or why no one seemed the least bit tired at 4am? I could go on, but I must say, this final scene with the Chinese totally took me off guard.

Kudos for the giving one final zing to a good, but not the best, 24 season (last season was my fave). However, setting up a cliffhanger like this involving the Chinese government definitely redeemed some of the past 24 hour leaps of faith. These next few months leading up to January's premiere should incubate several good theories about what's in store for Day 6. Will a new character be the focus whose mission will be to save Jack? Will Jack be forced to serve as a Double Agent to China? Will Jack find new Asian love in the Orient? We'll have to see.

One final note on 24 this season- pop quiz- what does Tzi Ma (pictured above), have in common with Graham, VP Hal Gardner, and Christopher Henderson? Yep, he too appeared in a Robocop film (refer to 4/25/06 post)! Don't believe me? Check his filmography at IMDB.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Running Man Cometh


This past week, I realized that it's been a while since I experienced true mental and physical pain, so I decided, what better way to remedy that by running a marathon! On Wednesday, the Marine Corps Marathon opened up its registration to the public, and guess who made sure they were registered bright and early? Yep, I'm a schmuck.

My first and only marathon I participated in to date has been the New York City Marathon back in 2002. That was a truly incredible race, one that I will never forget. From the sounds of supporting New Yorkers, to the sight of thousands of athlete's competing for one single goal, it felt like you owned the streets of New York City, just for a brief while, although at times it seemed like an eternity. Of course, there's those kill me moments like the dry heaves at mile 20, the leg and stomach cramps at mile 21 thru 24, the delirium spell that almost led to a near collapse from sheer exhaustion at mile 25, and that one block in Queens that reeked of hot garbage, but all in all, the glory of finishing surpassed all that.

I also recall the preparation I endured leading up to that day. If there was ever a reason for me not to run another marathon again, training would be it. In short, long runs bite the big one. Not that I had an extensive game plan- I found out I was accepted into the race in September after originally being denied via lottery. Apparently, many international racers that year decided not to run, most likely due to post-9/11 fears at that time. So when I received an email asking me if I still wanted in, considering I've been unsuccessful in getting a bid via the lottery system for the past few years, I figured, what the hell. After forcing myself to follow a semi-accelerated training schedule for those next few weeks, I surprised myself in completing the race in 3 hours, 30 minutes (and 9 seconds net for you bean counters), thirty minutes under my goal time of 4 hours. That was three and a half long ass years ago.

This year I'm sure things will be different. Whether I can muster up enough game to break my personal record, or simply survive and finish the race, that'll be known 10/29. But I've got five months from now, and a crap load of time to get my ass into gear. Fade in...procrastination.

Friday, May 19, 2006

My, My, My



Since when did the NHL and UPN share marketing agencies?

Given that the key audiences for each brand are demographically different, it isn't surprising that more people haven't noticed this.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Fool Me Once...

Damn you Bush for cutting into May Sweeps!

This is what you get- a disgruntled CNN cameraman and producer that rolls to your national TV address during rehearsal. The deer in the headlights reaction is classic.



This belongs in the "America elected this guy?!?!" Hall of Fame clips:



Whether your a Democrat or a Republican, how can you deny this man's a tool?

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Big Geek Paradise 2006 (E3 recap)


On Friday, I returned from what is considered the yearly Mecca of video game geekdom, the annual Electronic Entertainment Expo, also known as E3. For those who don't know what E3 is, it's a four day annual conference for the video game industry, where companies from around the world introduce their latest PC and console hardware and software products coming to market, discuss business strategies and analyze current consumer trends, and perhaps most importantly, play games. It's known for its big geeks, big displays, and big bombs, which usually come in the form of booth babes- models dressed up in ridiculous outfits, usually a medieval or science fiction theme, luring people toward their booth for a cheesy photo op. If this all sounds a bit surreal, it is.

After three days, I'm absolutely exhausted. I know, it sounds ridiculous. How can playing video games be tiring? But believe me, walking around for ten hours a day, maneuvering among a sea of overweight and awkward looking men with bad B.O. from Europe, Asia and America, and having your eyes absorb at least fifty giant plasma screen TVs bombarding you with video game footage at any given moment, creates a sensory overload experience like no other place. Am I complaining? Hell's no. This was my second year attending (one of the key pluses for working at my company), and unlike last year- when the buzz was about defining what the hell 'Next Gen' meant, this year proved to be about showcasing actual playable games, hands-on, for the 'big 3' game consoles: Microsoft's Xbox 360, Sony's Play Station 3, and Nintendo's Wii. Flashy game trailers would simply not suffice, and I'm happy to say I was not disappointed.

Here are some personal highlights:
Xbox 360

Dead Rising:


I love zombies- the George Romero films, Shaun of the Dead- classics. The House of the Dead shoot 'em up arcade game- I eat that shit up. The premise of this game is that you're a freelance photojournalist who lands down via helicopter in a small Colorado town to investigate and hopefully break a big story after hearing rumors that there's civil disobedience running amok. It isn't long before you realize that the place is ground zero for the living dead on Earth. You have only a few hours to figure out what started it all before your chopper returns to pick you up, that is, if you survive.

The gameplay is open ended, a la Grand Theft Auto. The entire game takes place in the mall, but the place is ginormous. Although you discover missions to complete, you can easily spend the entire time roaming the mall finding new ways to kill your undead company. Practically anything can be used as a weapon: golf clubs, garbage cans, hangers, stuffed animals, potted plants, TVs, brooms, you name it. Zombie horror, with a strong story line plus innovating killing- this may be the game that drives me to finally buy the 360.

PS3
Resistance: Fall of Man

This first person shooter may be the Gears of War killer for the PS3. The graphics and game play of the demo feel truly next generation, with insane battle sequences that pit your squad against some crazy-ass looking foes. Microsoft may have it's work cut out for them in proving they're still the console king of the FPS.

Nintendo Wii


I can't say there was any particular game that stood out for the Wii that I saw that blew me away, but the gameplay functionality of that wacky controller was actually pretty fun. Playing a tennis game where I actually had to swing my joystick like I was using a racket blew my mind. It took some getting used to, but I think there's potential for this console to really add something new to how people play games and how gaming is perceived to the mainstream.

Quick anecdote- I saw an two older people (in their fifties) play this tennis game; the wife stood a bit too close behind her husband playing and received a fierce backhand to the face as he prepared to unleash a wicked forehand volley, whipping the controller backward and cold clocked her unknowingly. She almost fell down the steps and into a sound speaker. I almost pissed myself.

EA made a bold move to release Madden '07 on this platform using the Wii controller. The mechanics and controller functionality seemed like it may take some getting used to, like throwing a pass, kicking a field goal, and giving a stiff arm, but time will tell whether this console will work and bring something new for this monster EA Sports franchise.

Madden 07 on the Wii

It was an incredible trip. If there was any question if I would end up buying an HDTV and a new game console his coming holiday, what I saw in LA this past week squashed that uncertainty right quick.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Calling All Celebrity Sellouts

It's becoming more and more challenging these days for companies to get Americans excited about their brand. Consumers today are fickle about who they allow to enter their three-second attention span worlds, and as a result, marketers must be as aggressive as ever to draw visibility to their products. What better way to do that by harnessing the power of the celebrity!

Recently, the NHL, attempting to come back this year and win the hearts and minds of millions of Americans who barely noticed the hockey lockout last year that caused the entire season to be cancelled, hired two agencies specifically to recruit celebrities to appear at this year's playoffs for the sole purpose of generating PR buzz that will hopefully build some 'street cred' to the sport and spark some interest among the masses. They've already been successful in getting Keifer Sutherland and Denis Leary, two true hockey fans, to produce promo pieces during the playoffs.

Apparently, George Clooney turned down a free ticket and travel to any game anywhere in the country, all expenses paid. He claims to be strictly a baseball, basketball, football fan. I claim he's strictly a chump. I wonder how deep the NHL will dig to find a celebrity willing to take them up on an offer to attend a free game with the VIP treatment? I hear Carrot Top is taking calls.

In another case, the TV upfronts are start this week, the time of year when the TV networks pitch advertisers their upcoming show lineups to secure early advertising dollars 'upfront.' MTV went out with a bang yesterday and solicited the talent of Jon Stuart, Sarah Silverman, Stephen Colbert (fresh of his White House Correspondent's Dinner gig) and even Dora the Explorer to entertain and lure the suits to spending more benjamins this year for their beloved company. I'm sure these talented folks are compensated well for these speaking engagements, perhaps it's even written in their Viacom contracts to appear, and considering they're pitching for funding for their show, I don't take too much offense by it. However, something seems a little unsanitary in the lengths companies will go to put on such a horse and pony show for the almighty dollar. Am I being a pessimist? A sourpuss? A gloomy Gus? A Debbie Downer? Possibly. After all, MTV is simply 'shaking what their momma gave ya,' but something stinks, and it ain't Robert Downey's ass. For now, I'll take the advice of a wise man's proverb which seems appropriate: 'Don't hate the playa, hate the game.'

And on that note, I'll end with this- there's nothing quite like seeing celebrities endorse foreign products, particularly from those eccentric Japanese...like these:



Jack, get back to CTU, now!



Arnold, "What... the hell... are you?"



Van 'Dammage'- I'm glad you were able to supplement your drug addiction after Bloodsport with this high paying gig.

Monday, May 01, 2006

The Broom Is Out, The Clubs Are Packed,

...LET'S GO GOLFING!


Yes, as I predicted, the NY Rangers ended their highly anticipated '05-'06 playoff run with another lackluster performance on Saturday with a 4-2 loss by a dominant NJ Devils club, thus commencing the all too familiar, Rangers 'Early-Bird Special' May golf season. To add insult to injury, Jaromir Jagr, the Rangers' best player and until recently, a favorite for league MVP, reinjured his shoulder just 53 seconds into the first period. This ended any hope Ranger fans had of a Messier-eque comeback of the century.

Jagr's injury not only added the proverbial nail in the coffin for the Rangers, but also put into jeopardy his and his team's future come next season, five months from now. Five months may sound like a long ways away, but considering this dude is already 34 years old, and it could take between two to three months to recoup from shoulder surgery (so the 'pros' say), things could look interesting come September. Even if he is back, some of his Czech buddies may not be- Martin Rucinsky, Martin Straka, and Petr Sykora are all free agents next season.

What does the future hold? Hopefully another shot in the playoffs, minus the humiliation of being defeated by a state known for Bon Jovi and its uncanny geographical resemblance to a mailman; a state whose idea of a Stanley Cup ticker-tape parade is driving around the Continental Airlines Arena parking lot, albeit a state whose team obliterated the best NY Ranger squad in over a decade in four straight games.

Wii.T.F.?


With E3 2006 just around the corner (May 9-12), Nintendo last week decided to unveil the new name of their next generation console: Wii, pronounced 'Wee'.

The minute the story broke, the game community was all over it. Needless to say, it didn't take very long to deliberate their verdict, which was: the name sucks. From Nintendo's point of view, its simple visual and phonetic identity will be universal and easily understood across the globe; this can't be said about its previous name, the 'Revolution.' Although 'Revolution' aptly describes its unique controller, it did sound strikingly similar in theme to Xbox's '360'. You can read the official naming logic of those crazy Japanese here. My thought is that if the games for this resonate with people, you can call this 'The Shit Box' and people will buy it in droves. Personally, instead of 'Wii', I would have pushed for 'Wu,' as in Wu-Tang Clan fo' ever muthaf**ker, but that's just me.

Based on Nintendo's history of games on their consoles, with the exception of Resident Evil 4, the Wii (did I just call it that?) won't be my cup of tea. There's something... seemingly impure... I find in playing these Nintendo games- with those squeaky odd sounds, cute anime looking, dwarf-size characters, that make me feel like I should join the priesthood after playing- and not in that good-priesthood way. I admit, the innovative new controller is something that I'm interested to try out and see how it works with different games, but if all I'm doing is using it to jump over a turtle in a Mario game, I'll pass. If you need a primer of how this new controller works and how it's supposed to 'revolutionize' playing games as we know it, check out the controller teaser video here:



I hope to get my hands of this mofo when I'm out at E3 next week- stay tuned for more info.