The Flagrant Bowel

Halo can you go?

2006-12-21T22:44:00.000-05:00

Just in time for the holidays, some sneak peaks behind the graphics system of Halo 3, which won't coming for another 10-12 months or so. If you were second guessing the decision to purchase an Xbox 360 over the short supplied PS3, Bungie/Microsoft are hoping to sway your uneasiness to what's coming. This will be one of many strategically released behind the scenes video of the game that'll rolling out in the coming months.

ho ho ho!

2006-12-21T22:05:00.000-05:00

Live Free or Die Hard...Seeing This Franchise Jump the Shark

2006-12-16T08:17:00.000-05:00

Just when you thought the last decent action movie trilogy would go untouched, here comes round 4 in the Die Hard Series- Live Free or Die Hard.

The trailer has a very different tone to it than it predecessors, it almost looks too serious. Bruce looks too much of a tough guy as well, all clean and bald 'n shit. I liked him better as a degenerate everyman in a dirty wifebeater, receding hairline and all.

With McTiernan not tied to direct this, which is understandable considering he's facing jail time, I'm concerned that this episode may soil what is one of the best movie franchises around. Also, where's the European villain? Though Die Harder was a great flick, the first and third films featuring the Grubers played by Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons were by far two of the best antagonists in movie history. Stretching the Gruber blood line to a third would have been difficult, but I just think Europeans make the best bad guys. There's also apparently plotlines that involve McClane's son and daughter-this is very concerning- didn't they see Rocky V?! Part of my hatred for that film was the horrendously annoying child acting. Unless they whip out another breakout kid like Haley Joel Osment (now on DWI charges) or 'lil D (Dakota Fanning), this could be very bad. From the looks of it, it appears that the kid from the Mac commercials is McClane's son, also from the critically acclaimed Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.

Yippie-ki-yay.

Blade: "I Don't Do...Taxes"

2006-12-14T23:06:00.000-05:00

What the hell happened Wesley? What's with the thumbs up? Don't you know you're facing 16 years in the Big House?!

I remember when I first saw you in Major League as Willy Mays Hayes ("hit like Mays, run like Hayes," or was it the other way around?)- your future looked so promising. I forgot that you were also in the football classic Wildcats before that. Between taking over The Carter in New Jack City, and getting into Annabella Sciorra's italian pants in Jungle Fever, there was no stopping you. Then you teamed up with Mr. Hemp himself in White Men... and became a household name.

Then Mr. New Jack City became Sell Out City, with a running diarrhea of crap like Passenger 57 ('always bet on black'), Rising Sun with Sir Connery, Demolition Man with Rocky Balboa, and of course To Wong Foo, among others.

I recall my up close and personal moment with you while attending the NY premiere of your shitty baseball thriller movie, The Fan, with Bobby DeNiro. It was the summer of my freshman year in college, while interning at Sony Pictures' Mandalay Entertainment in Manhattan. You are much shorter in real life, kinda like I predict I would react when seeing Tom Cruise in person. Though the movie was horrendous, I did enjoy the glamour and glitz of the premiere, and meeting Mark Messier and Brian Leetch, both drunk of their rockers at Planet Hollywood's afterparty, was a moment I won't forget. I also recall that you were with an asian chick, even before if was en vogue for black men to 'git wit' asian women (see Tiki Barber). A true pioneer you were Mr. Snipes.

A few year's later, you became Blade, with 2 sequels, you became cool again. But now this tax evasion stuff...c'mon man! You ain't Nino Brown! You're Wesley Freakin' Trent Snipes!

Beat this man! Don't let them take you down. To quote a favorite crappy movie title of your's: Play it to the Bone!

Cold hard ass kicking

2006-12-03T21:23:00.000-05:00

Now that the weather is starting to get uncomfortably cold, I've begun my yearly hibernation of not doing any outdoor physical activity for the next four months. Finding the right activity has always been a challenge. I've pondered taking a martial arts class, but after viewing the clip below, the fear that I may look something like this makes me question this path.

Dumb Executives Among Us

2006-11-15T23:47:00.000-05:00

I work for a media company. Recently, the head of programming, facing stiff competition, and knowing nothing about the Internet, just hired a VP whose job it is surf the web to find out what people are talking about. Not an intern or a college grad, but a friggin VP! The kicker is, she doesn't have any online experience and self admittedly 'isn't a web savvy person'! Is it just the companies I work for or does everyone have executive level dolts steering the ship?

When I first heard about the position, I joked to one of my colleagues that at our next meeting, she's going to update everyone with something like "Do you want to know what's really hot on the web right now? pets, especially sleepy kittens...so hot."

Sure enough, in the following week's meeting, when it was her turn to provide an update, she said, and I'm only slightly paraphrasing: "What I'm seeing is that people really love their pets and love videos of kittens." I almost fell out of my chair and pissed myself! Luckily I was dialed into the conference call or I would have lost it had I attended in person. So in light of that little anecdote, I thought it would be nice to share one of my favorite pet videos on You Tube:

Cats...so hot.

Put A Fork In Me

2006-11-01T21:06:00.000-05:00

After four months of on again, off again training, the big day finally arrived. This past weekend was the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington DC. In short, it was 26.2 miles of pure fun and agony. I'm not sure what I'm more happy about, to have finished the race in semi decent time, or to be finished with training and running. My finish time: 3 hrs 53 min, which comes to an 8:54/ mile- way off my 8:00/ mile pace and 3:30 finish back in the 2002 NY Marathon, but considering that up to the night before, I wasn't even sure what time I was going to try to run for, I'm pretty content with finishing under 4 hours.

The race weekend started with driving down to my in-laws home in South Jersey Friday night, followed by a mid Saturday morning trip with my wife and mother-in-law down to DC, checking into the Hilton Crystal City after grabbing a quick lunch while waiting for our room to be ready. The last 24 hours before a big race is always a little nerve-racking, especially in a different city. Food choice during those final hours before the race also becomes a concern. The pros recommend to keep it simple, no Mexican, Indian, anything that my cause an explosive oil slick on the race course. My lunch choice: Philly Cheese steak. A little risky? Yes, but I'm a sucker for a good philly steak sandwich. Go big or go home, I like to say, even when the phase doesn't make sense. Luckily, it didn't cause hell to my digestive system.

Saturday afternoon, after settling in the hotel, we took a trip to the race expo to pick up my bib number, and in the process hit the motherload of free race food- almost five pounds worth of power gels, shot bloks, sports jelly beans, and clif bars. I think I have enough race snacks for the next six races. We wrapped up the evening with a classic pasta dinner at a nearby neighborhood Italian restaurant.

The race day weather couldn't have been better- clear, blue skies, with temperatures hovering in the upper 40s / low 50s. After an impassioned military opening ceremonies, capped off with a flyby of two Osprey combat aircraft, the race was under way. During the first several miles, I actually thought I had a chance of beating my PR...then came mile 20. Even holding back my pace this time around, preparing for the last few miles couldn't avoid the physical wall I suddenly hit. It was as if every muscle in both my legs cramped all at the same time. When I took a moment to stretch one leg, the other leg seized up. I must have looked like a basket case. At that point, I realized that not only beating my personal best was beyond reach, but also just finishing under four hours was at risk. Fortunately, I was able to hobble my way to the finish, only walking briefly before some guy behind me gave me the only encouragement I needed to hear to finish strong: "Be a man." Not "you can do it," or "you're almost there." After all, this is the Marine Corp Marathon. Hooo Rahh!

My final stats are available for mile by mile analysis here.

The Finaaaal Countdown

2006-10-22T18:20:00.000-04:00

It's seven days til go time to my second 26.2 mile race, the Marine Corps Marathon. Am I ready? That's the question I've been pondering these last few weeks. My new job, now in it's eight week, so one can argue if it's still considered 'new', has totally been cramping my style, my marathon training, as well as other fun deviations like writing this blog, day dreaming, and playing video games. Bitch, bitch, bitch...

At this point, the train has left the station. I'm running this friggin thing if it kills me. Not the best attitude or mindset going into my final week, but quite frankly, I'm all out of excuses. The race deferment deadline has passed. Physically, though I'm not in the prime fighting shape that I was in 2001 when I ran my first marathon in 3:30, but I'm pretty confident I can run the course without dying. However, the fact that I've almost gone through all of the Milky Way and mini Reese's Cups Halloween candy in my apartment isn't helping me shed some extra poundage to give my feet the extra bounce I'll need come race day. Mentally, I don't think I'm prepared to realistically beat my personal best, my only best, is disheartening, but is something I'll have to simply accept and move on.

The good news is that the course is relatively flat, and I've heard it's a good, fun course, filled with inspiring monuments and ooo-raah marines motivating you along the way. Hopefully that will help clear the mental bats in my head.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is Halloween!

UFC 64- Spider Eats Ace

2006-10-16T23:53:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, middleweight UFC Champ Rich Franklin, after a seven month hiatus, came back to defend his title, and lost it in three minutes to Pride Fighting veteran Anderson "The Spider" Silva. There's been an ongoing debate among the online MMA community whether UFC or Pride Fighting have more talented fighters. After this display of pure ass kicking, Pride fans definately have an arguement. I've occasionally watched a few Pride fights on Fox Sports Net, and UFC definately has more polish, but polish isn't required when it comes to knees and fists to the head.

I Can't Feel Me Legs

2006-10-02T23:04:00.000-04:00

Yesterday in New York City was the first annual Men's Health Urbanathlon. In preparation for the upcoming Marine Corps Marathon in a few weeks, this was a good opportunity test my racing legs as it spanned roughly ten miles from Central Park at 102nd St., down the West Side Highway, through Chelsea Piers and the Financial District, and back up to the Meatpacking District, with various obstacle course goodies scattered throughout. What goodies? Here's a few:

The Hurdle:

This was the first major obstacle that was on board the Intrepid (besides the pissing rain). Easy enough, pull yourself over the first plank, go underneath the next, then over, then under, over. I saw some guy wipe out on the first plank, slipping on the air craft carriers deck, and almost cracking his head open. Luckily he was okay.

The Ranger Weave:

This was the second obstacle on the Intrepid. It wasn't as difficult as I thought, partially due to the adrenaline rush of living out my thirty second dream of participating in "The Best Ranger Challenge." A most impressive sight I witnessed was a paraplegic runner with one of those fiberglass prosthetic spring legs right up my ass on this obstacle. I was amazed that this guy was going up and under these logs with only one real leg. And I'd be damned if I was going to be the one to slow him down.

The Pegboard Traverse:

This was probably one of the most demanding challenges on your upper body, particularly if the last time you did a push up for pull up was over 6 months. Fortunately this was an optional obstacle, so I gladly gave the bird to this one.

The Rock Wall Traverse:

This was the other choice if you didn't do the peg wall. I was initially concerned after getting a sneak peek at this that this would be as difficult to do was the peg wall, but luckily we were able to step on the small ledge for leverage, which make this a piece of cake.

The Wall:

This was the last obstacle before the finish line. The rain certainly didn't help get any foot traction against the wall. On the third try, and smashing my right knee, I finally made it over.

...and climbing fifty two flights of this friggin' building (World Trade Center 7)

This was the most daunting obstacle in the entire race. Mental motivational games like feeling like a firefighter on 9/11 only lasted about the 28th floor, then the claustrophobia started to set in, and I'm not even claustrophobic. The oddly enough specks of blood began appearing on the steps at around floor 33- I was curious to see when I'd run into a bloody corpse. Fortunately there was none. At the top, there was a lovely 360 view of the city, unfortunately the fog covered any visible skyline, and my light headed delirium certainly didn't help fully take in as much of the sight as I could have if I'd taken the elevator, or had a oxygen tank on hand.

Overall, a great race, even with the rain. Though official times are still not posted, I think I managed roughly a 1:55 including the obstacles. Hopefully this is a sign of how I'll perform in a few weeks in DC. At least that course from what I understand is pretty flat.

Good Movie Weekend

2006-09-25T23:24:00.001-04:00

This past weekend thought it would be nice to take my wife to a dinner and a movie. Go me, I know. Unfortunately, living in semi-suburbia Riverdale, our options are limited for an all out night on the town. Long gone are evenings at Nobu followed by The Screening Room cocktails and film in TriBeCa...who am I kidding, it was more like Uncle Mo's and The Pavillion in Park Slope. Well, now it's more like The Cheesecake Factory and The AMC at The Palisades Mall. I know, you can smell the culture pesticide parking lot scent still on me from Saturday.

Anyways, beyond picking up a Yankee scented candle for my office (insert ambiguously gay joke here), we hit the latest Zach Braff film "The Last Kiss." In a building full of mega store chains totally devoid of authenticity, as the lights in theater dimmed, the screen delivered a refreshing jolt of originality.

I miss independent films. I can't remember the last time I saw a movie that I cared to remember. "The Last Kiss" is a story about facing life at a crossroads, making choices, being imperfect, and accepting that fact and moving forward. I thought the actors and script did a great job portraying their various mental states of confusion and struggle to find themselves. The fact that film's main characters were roughly the same age as me made the characters even more engaging and relative, even though unlike them, I was not a womanizing bachelor, a depressed recently dumped sad sack, a new father/verbally abused husband, or a soon-to-be father to a pregnant girlfriend.

I don't watch Scrubs on NBC, but I am becoming a Zach Braff fan (enter second ambiguously gay joke here). To boot, the soundtrack, like Garden State, is a winner.

And in case you were wondering, the candle scent was "Autumn Leaves." See you next year, summer.

"What's In The Box????" Comics!

2006-09-16T12:35:00.000-04:00

I just learned that one of my favorite movies will come to print. Se7en, the serial killa thrilla from the late '90s starring Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Spacey, will be a seven part mini-series graphic novel coming to comic book stores as soon as this week. AICN has the latest scoop with a writer of the first book here.

I used to read comic books during my tween years, though to be quite honest, I mostly just looked at the pictures. Yes, I hated reading so much so that I could not even stand the words in comic books. I actually once wrote a book report in 3rd grade on a Golden Book. I was a late bloomer, what can I say. Anyways, my brother Rog was more of the comic book collector and connoisseur, taking me to comic book conventions at Penn Plaza across the street from The Garden every year. For those that have never been to a comic book convention, or what many in the comic world referred to as "Creation Conventions," you don't know what you're missing! Entering these events is really like stepping into another world, and just for the entertainment value of seeing a horde of pale skin teens AND adults amongst a sea of black t-shirts and unkept hair was loads of fun. Though comic books were the main currency- buying, trading, and oogling (for those that wanted to get a close up look at what a Spider-Man #1 looked liked and cost in mint condition), the charm was all the other fantasy and sci-fi crap that surrounded the books enclosed in plastic and backed with white stiffboard. Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Land of the Lost, Star Wars, Godzilla, you name it, if it's got lasers, aliens, or a hint of kitschie/kookie Japanese, you'll find it here.

I eventually grew out of it, finding other things to piss away my allowance. However, the existence of Forbidden Planet in New York City has kept the flames of my sci-fanatic youth alive though the years. A geek's paradise smack dab in Union Square, the shop's got practically everything a comic/sci-fi fan could ever want, other than a girlfriend- graphic novels, posters, t-shirts, old and new comics, and figurines (they're NOT dolls!).

Up until now, the only comic book item of recent interest to me has been a small graphic novel series called The Walking Dead- a post-apocalyptic thriller about a group of strangers who are mentally and physically tested to their human limits as they try to survive a worldwide zombie epidemic. Perhaps Se7en will be a bit more light hearted...

Fantasy Football Week 1 : 0 and 2. Verdict: My Team Sucks Balls

2006-09-12T23:37:00.000-04:00

I just don't have the patience for fantasy football. After choosing what I thought was a decent collection players for my fantasy team this year, I still am coming out shit short, going 0 and 2 after the first week (our league has each team play two games vs. two different teams). This is the second year I'm participating in this annual donation to my college friends league, and the second time I'm teaming up with a buddy to co-own a team, primarily to minimize my investment, which already seems to be like a good idea again this year.

Granted, I decided on Carolina WR Steve Smith, who has had issues with his hammy during the pre-season, and ended up with another injury on his other hamstring just last week, but even with that bad luck, I think my players have a sixth sense to underperform when I pick them. Even when they do well, I think they still suck. Take last year's Tom Brady. One of the top QBs in the league, and a top pick on my team, Yellow Fever. Ask me what I think about him, and I won't have anything to do with that prick. Why? I can't really say, other than even when he did perform well, my team still lost, so, one can say he's on my shit list by association. Does this make sense, not at all, but it doesn't really matter. Fantasy does makes watching football enjoyable, and even if I end up losing every game, verbally abusing friends for no reason in the message boards is worth the price of admission alone. Hopefully our team this year, Asian Dawn, can rise above the ashes and not suck so bad for week two.

5 Years... But Who's Counting

2006-09-12T21:21:00.000-04:00

As everyone in America knows, yesterday was the 5th anniversary of 9/11. If you're not into anniversaries, probably just another day. But for most of us, there was at least one moment yesterday when we thought about where we were when we heard that the first plane hit.

I think Western cultures' fascination with anniversaries, particularly that end in five and zero, is an odd thing. I mean, it's based on a time structure that we created back in the day when people needed to know when it was hot and cold outside each year so they didn't starve and freeze to death. It now provides us Westerners with a benchmark by which we can gauge how far along we've come, where we think we should be, and how long we think we have left, in our short existence on this planet. I say Westerners because, I'm sure you know, not everyone follows a 365 day a year cyclical calendar. For example many Eastern cultures follow the lunar calendar, where one's birth date changes every year. In some societies some folks don't even celebrate birthdays.

But in America, we fixate on this shit. Anniversaries gives us a reason to do stuff. Watch a ball drop, buy a cake, go on a cruise. It also makes us ponder and reflect, which isn't a bad thing, considering our attention spans are getting shorter and shorter and our memories weaker and weaker these days. Reflection is important, and sometimes necessary, to put things in perspective, to think clearly, to prioritize what's truly important in our lives, to reconsider how we treat other people.

We get a bit nervous this time of year, every year since that day, partially because we think terrorists are following the same calendar we are. It's part of the tunnel-vision culture we have created for ourselves, enhanced by the inescapable hyperbolic news coverage. My favorite TV graphic I saw last night was from Anderson Cooper's CNN special title card: Ground Zero...of TERROR! The name reminded of the Simpsons "Tree House of Horrors" Halloween special. I almost expected scary organ music playing in the background. Ridiculous is now the norm it seems, which is so very sad. Thank goodness for Charlie Rose and The Daily Show.

Crikey! I Should Have Stuck to Reptiles!

2006-09-04T21:12:00.000-04:00

It's a sad day for Australia, Animal Planet, and alligator lovers around the world. Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter died today from an apparent blow to the chest by a stingray's barb while filming a documentary, ironically, about dangerous marine life, in Queensland.

A damn shame, I tell ya. This guy had a real passion for life and his family, which is uncommon these days. My wife and I actually dressed up as him and his wife one year for Halloween, though the reason we did was more out of convenience than our enjoyment of his show- brown tee shirt, shorts, and a few rubber snakes from Toys 'R Us, and voila! Some animal experts like Jack Hannah say he kinda deserved it and that it was his own fault. Playing with such dangerous animals, it was inevitable that this would someday catch up and bite him in the ass, or in this case, inject a venomous spike through his heart. Perhaps this is true, but quite honestly Jack, I don't think he is looking for excuses or a defense for his actions right about now- a funeral home is more on target.

Animal Planet has already begun running his shows, in part I presume as a tribute to his work in educating and entertaining millions of people curious to know who the hell in their right mind would willingly jump into a pond with twenty foot eating machines. CNN is re-airing his interview tonight from the time where he was accused of child endangerment from holding his infant while feeding an alligator- dane-jah, dane-jah! Gotta love cable TV's reactionary schedule. I recall a few months ago when the whole Mel Gibson alcoholic anti-Semitic rage with the LA police erupted, there were at least three cable networks airing either Lethal Weapon, Payback, or Braveheart. I'm hoping something happens to Mr. T soon so I can watch Rocky III and A-Team episodes again.

Farewell Steve Irwin- you will be missed. I'll see you in reruns.

Call Me Slacker

2006-08-29T23:26:00.000-04:00

Holy crap! It's been about 2 weeks since my last post, and guilty I do indeed feel. The main culprit, I hate to admit it, has been my new job. I don't care whatever's your gig, I think the first week at any job could be at times one of the most helpless feelings on Earth, like a young fawn being thrusted into a new world, without a damn clue which way is up. I don't care how much experience you have, having to ask someone how to get to the restroom is a humbling feeling wherever you are. Although I was unofficially already working for my new employers since I gave notice at the end of July, it wasn't until Tuesday did I finally get email access. During my first week, it took me until Wed. to find the main kitchen where they keep the good coffee, until Thursday to figure out the quickest way to the bathroom, and by the time Friday came around, I was planning a trip to the LA office to meet my new West Coast colleagues, and have to learn where the coffee and shitter is all over again.

Between getting settled in at the new job, working toward launching my company's website in three weeks (hint- "Get Ready, 'Cuz Here We Come!", ramping up training for the Marine Corps Marathon now two months away, training for a NY adventure "Urbanathlon" race one month away, and trying to pretend I know what I'm doing for my NFL fantasy draft which is this Thursday, I'm a freaking mess.

Luckily during this madness, I have the luxury of media entertainment to keep my mind ignorant for a few moments each day. Here are some highlights from the past two weeks.

Dead Rising out for Xbox 360- Another reason I give myself to go out already and buy this console. Is there someone else out there like me who follows the video game community so regularly, yet hardly has time to play any games? If I can hold out three months longer, I can make a conscious decision whether to pick up a PS3 or a 360. Mark my words though, by Christmas I will own one of these lovely time suckers.

Little Miss Sunshine- Can you say "My Big Fat Disfunctional Family"? Just saw this over the weekend while celebrating with my wife our 6th anniversary. Yes, sixth! Good, original, grown-up movie- though there were two middle aged hippy/yuppie-like folk in the row in front of us that were laughing a little too hard during some scenes that were funny, but not that funny, which made the scene even less funny than that, if that makes sense.

The Ultimate Fighter 4- the Comeback- more blood, more kamuras, more fun. This time with veterans trying to win a shot at the title. Physical competition at its finest.

Entourage- Yes, I'm a sad sack for not having HBO and am living life with a huge void in it, but that's why there's Netflix, right? I'm catching up on Season 1 and it's actually pretty entertaining- light comic fare if you will, considering from an outsider's perspective prior to watching the show, all of these guys seem like huge dicks. Which is not far from the truth, but they are entertaining to watch.

The US Open- Always an enjoyable time watching bald oldies like Agassi try to enter retirement on a high note. Did you catch his battle over some dude Pavel last night?

The Emmys- Conan brung to this often banal awards show what Billy Crystal brungeth to the Oscars in his heyday- one of a kind, hilarious, well-produced spoofs:

Muay Thai Fighting + Chicks = Good Television

2006-08-07T23:56:00.000-04:00

I don't think I've ever watched a single show on the Oh! network, also known as Oxygen, until tonight. After watching Chef Ramsey give the ol' heave ho' to K-Grease/Big Boy Keith on Fox's Hell's Kitchen, while flipping though the dial looking for my next show, I by pure chance found this great documentary called Fight Girls. This two hour program follows the lives of seven American female Muay Thai fighters selected from across the country to train and compete to be one of three representing the U.S. in an exhibition tournament in the Muay Thai capital of the world, Thailand. From the first few minutes of the show, I got the impression that these girls had too much make-up on to survive in the ring, but I was surprised to see how in shape and skilled they were at throwing knees, elbows and fists for three rounds.

If you want to impress your girlfriend or wife by suggesting a show on Oxygen that the two of you can actually watch together, here's your shot. How often does that happen? Just know that the show following it is likely either the Tyra Banks or the Ellen Degeneres Show, so you want to immediately avoid that crap and move onto ESPN as soon as the credits roll.

Encores air Aug. 13th at 3pm ET and 18th at 2pm ET.

E3: R.I.P.- Farewell Geek Mecca, Booth Babes, and All Expense Paid Trip to LA

2006-07-31T22:23:00.000-04:00

Today's sad news confirmed the rumors that rippled over the video game community during the weekend - E3 as we know it is no more.

The official bomb was dropped by the ESA (Entertainment Software Association) this morning, a decision that appears to have been made after much deliberation and feedback among many of the industry's biggest publishers and participants of the Expo. Bottom line- the cost of participants putting on a massive show, which in the past few years seems to be growing exponentially in efforts to out-do themselves and their competitors from the year prior, outweighed the benefits. Rather than a three day blowout at the LA Convention Center filled with booth babes, plasma screens, and 60,000 video geeks, the ESA plans to scale down the event to make it more intimate and less gluttonous.

Considering that going to E3 was reason #9 in calculating why I should stay at my current job vs. moving onto the new position, I'm partially happy with the announcement since I accepted the job and would most likely not be able to attend future E3 anyways. If I had decided to stay, I'd be one pissed off somebitch right now. Objectively though, the decision does make sense. Game publishers like EA spend millions of dollars each year for floor space, premiums, elaborate sets, actors, and travel expenses for employees to showcase their upcoming games...to their industry peers. It's like one big circle jerk of showing how cool you are to your friends, with hardly any big payoff to the people that matter most, the consumers- who will mostly be watching the coverage from the internet or from G4 on cable, not in person.

However, I did really look forward to the massive coverage of the event each year and the anticipated buzz of newest games, particularly in light of the new console wars among Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo. It'll be interesting what scaled-down version the ESA ends up creating, and how it will change how video games will be covered throughout the year without the summer mega-event to get the main scoop.

For those already feeling the relapse of an E3-less summer in 2007, you can catch my 2006 coverage over in my Flickr gallery in the right column.

Jumping Ship

2006-07-27T23:01:00.000-04:00

Last Friday I gave my resignation to my current employer, the proverbial 'fuck off, good luck without me', if you will. It was quite the satisfying experience. Earlier that morning, I received confirmation that the final piece of a counter-offer I had stipulated as contingent upon my acceptance had been met, sealing the deal for me at my new company.

I had been contemplating a move out of my current job for a few months now. Nothing serious, just perusing the job market to see what's available and get a gauge of what I'm worth, particularly in light of recent events that have resulted in my company's future to be very uncertain, and word that the market is very good in my particular industry. I occasionally go through this ritual of applying for positions I have no serious interest in taking, but go through the process just to hone my interview skills and to see how far I can go in the interview process.

This time around, the seed that was planted was not from a job posting, but rather though a past co-worker who needed help building a new department. I took him up on meeting the hiring manager, simply to entertain the idea, and three weeks later, I got a call with the offer. Considering I wasn't originally really thinking about leaving, this posed a real mental battle between staying put where I was pretty much content, versus taking a new opportunity that doesn't come around very often. Having the HR manager on vacation enabled me to spend two weeks weighing the decision to stay or go. My head felt like it was in a friggin vice, much like that scene in Casino.

Most people I think would consider this a no brainer- a similar job with more responsibility, a nice promotion and even nicer salary bump. But the fact was that I was in a cushy job and within a certain comfort zone, and I essentially would be putting myself outside of that zone voluntarily. What would the people I'd work with really be like? Do they work crazy hours? Are their bathrooms nice? Ultimately, I decided to take the risk, confident that it would take me at least another four to five years at my current company (if they're still standing), to be in the position that I would be entering into. And if it didn't work out, so be it- the job market is decent enough for me to find something else in a reasonable amount of time. Life's too friggin short, right? Go big or go home.

Team Fortress 2...It's About Time!

2006-07-20T00:21:00.000-04:00

(Geek Alert)
If you play video games, and you've never heard of Team Fortress, Allah help you. If you have, then you must be just as excited as I am to hear that we will actually live to see the sequel of the game that essentially got most of us into multi-player online gaming.

The original Team Fortress came out as a MOD to the original Half-Life, back in the day ('the day' being the mid-nineties). The first ever 'character class' based first person shooter (fps), it allowed players to choose from one of nine different types of soldier, each with his own specific strength and weakness. You were then placed on either a Red or Blue team, whose mission was to either capture the flag, wipe out the other team, or occupy all checkpoings within a map- all online, along side 12-15 year olds, with usually quite the potty mouths.

Not long after Team Fortress arrived came Counterstrike, the grandfather of squad based first person shooters. Sometime after the popularity of all three games peaked, there was much rumor and hype about the sequel to Team Fortress. That was several years ago. It was thought to be an all but dead title...until now.

There's a new Pixar look and feel this time around, which is causing some rumblings on the web among old-school fans of the original, but in my opinion, if the gameplay remains as good as the old days, adding whatever newfangled techno advancements brung this to the 21st century, I'll be anxiously anticipating its release. Hopefully this time around, it won't be another ten years when it does.

When Good Actors Work With Music Performers...

2006-07-19T23:20:00.000-04:00

...bad things happen. For example, would you go see a movie with Morgan Freeman and Kevin Spacey? Probably, right? - considering both are Oscar caliber thespians, who last paired up in the incredibly disturbing and mind blowing Se7en. Now add Justin Timberlake and LL Cool J. Not so sure now are you? Now look at this movie poster...

Suddenly, you're thinking how you'd better spend those two hours of your life other than sitting through this cinematic trainwreck, like watching a squirrel decompose. Speaking of decomposing squirrels, what the hell is on Kevin Spacey's head? His picture looks like they took it out of his high school yearbook. Now that I think of it, each of these guys look like they're taken from a different movie- Morgan looks straight outta Shawshank Redemption, LL looks like his character from that horrible shark movie, and Justin...well, he just looks like his usual a-hole self on a cover of Tiger Beat magazine.

Apparently this film was scheduled to be released in 2005, but was shelved due to poor test screenings. No kidding? Now you have a chance to catch the magic on DVD when it's released for home viewing this week.

I'm curious how long it took the cast and crew to realize they were sitting on a mound of diarrhea. Perhaps as soon as they realized LL and Justin weren't playing as themselves in the film?

You can get a sneak peek of this straight to video classic and get instant douche chills watching Morgan Freeman try to dance like Justin Timberlake here.

Think Cold

2006-07-16T17:50:00.000-04:00

There's nothing like summer in New York City when it starts smelling like hot garbage and rancid body odor, when news reporters begin covering stories about pets and old people dropping like flies from the heat, and when everyone starts to perspire like I've been since in April.

With a heat wave smothering most of this country starting this week, temperatures will be approaching 100 in several states, including New York. I can't help but think of that Twilight Zone 'Midnight Sun' episode- the one about the two women stuck in an apartment, sweating it out waiting for their fateful end as the Earth, thrown off its orbit, approaches closer and closer to the Sun. It's a story about survival, desperation, the apocalypse, and sweat.

I sweat...alot. Whether it's biking, running, climbing stairs, walking, or breathing, I've been known to emit more water through my skin's pores than any other human I've ever encountered. So when I see others experience in 95 degree temperatures what I normally experience at 65 degrees, I have to admit, I get a certain level of satisfaction- as if to say 'welcome to my world.' A point to clarify: although I claim to have superhuman perspiration, body odor doesn't seem to run a proportional course in my physiological make up. Serendipitously, I don't stink nearly as much as I sweat.

I first became aware of my 'porous' condition one hot summer day in second grade. Upon hearing the lunch bell sound calling for the end of recess, I found myself exhausted from an intense game of Tag. While lining up to return to our classroom, a classmate noticed that the top of my shirt collar (my school required boys to wear the St. Agnes special- blue shirt, navy tie, grey slacks), had turned a gradient of mixed colors. Apparently my sweat combined with the sun had caused the shirt collar and tie to bleed colors- not unlike a rainbow. Creative little pricks as second graders are, moments later someone else noticed it as well, and like an epiphany, someone else deemed me 'Rainbow Brite' in front of the rest of my classmates...a moment of embarrassment that is forever etched in my mind. Luckily the name didn't stick, partially because I made sure I never exerted myself to the point of sweating during recess ever again.

I've learned since that day on the playground how to use this condition to my advantage; I've learned that a sweaty body in contact sports like basketball, football, and wrestling can play to one's advantage, proving to be a formidable challenge to defend against.

I've also learned to manage around it as well; on job interviews, I frequently carry a few paper towels in my pocket to control me schwetty hands, and on my wedding day I even had extra tuxedo shirts on hand as backup during the reception, in case the outdoor festivities became too hot to handle that August day.

It's hard out here for a sweaty pimp.

Pourquoi?! POURQUOI?!?!?!?!

2006-07-11T11:19:00.000-04:00

In case you missed the big action at the World Cup Final...besides the shootout:

Can't get enough head? Use the French (now tainted) legend Zinedine Zidane's head to beat down more Italian soccer players here.

Gotta love the soccer...futbol...whatever. Notice that even in violence, he follows the rules of the game by not using his hands to attack.

To Zidane's defense, according to various newspapers, the Italian player he head-butted in the sternum, Milan Materazzi, allegedly verbally instigated the assault, calling Zidane "the son of a terrorist whore" moments before Zidane engaged in his patented 'cranial thrust death touch.'

FIFA is currently in a conundrum, considering that this was Zidane's final game as a professional player, any punishment such as a suspension would be meaningless. Regardless, his future as a marketing vehicle remains intact as long time sponsor Adidas has no plans to drop him. If anything, the incident will make the job of marketing Bald Frenchie that much easier.

Superman Returns, Not Begins

2006-07-10T22:09:00.000-04:00

Over the 4th of July holiday, I saw my first summer movie, Superman Returns. I know, for an entertainment geared blog, that's pretty lame. But to be honest, despite the 'big blockbusters' to date- MI:3, X-Men 3, The DaVinci Code, and this week's Pirates of the Carribean 2, all have had mixed reviews, and in these fickle eyes, none has been worthy to be deemed this season's 'must see' summer blockbuster. Superman Returns unfortunately was no exception.

Although the film has some great moments, particularly in the special effects area, at 2 hours and 34 minutes, they're weren't enough of them to keep me from getting chronic 'numb-ass' during the movie. It was odd to see someone else besides Christopher Reeve don the blue suit and red crotch (I grew up before the time of the old school George Reeves suicidal Superman), and even odder to see not a remake of the original story, but strangest most of all was the very different storyline that was what I had not expected. Yes, it still comes down to the classic battle between the Man of Steel and his arch-nemesis, Lex Luthor, played charmingly by bald, closet gay Kevin Spacey, but the manner that it reaches this final battle is a strange, nebular, and slightly anti-climactic one. I won't reveal any spoilers, but if you expected this film to bring it like Batman Begins brung it, don't get your hopes up. It plays true to the innocent, semi-campy charm of the Superman legacy, but it just doesn't feel as grounded in a believable earthly Metropolis where you feel emotionally drawn to the protagonists' human characteristics or for that matter, the people that surround him. The movie presumes you know some of the background of his powers, his weaknesses, his family, friends and enemies, but none of this is further developed to let you dive deeper into his world. For this reason, the movie lacks dimension.

One particular dissapointment to note was when I first saw Kumar from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle on screen, playing one of Luthor's henchmen. I was half expecting some random pot smoking comment, unlike those that made that 2004 flick an instant classic. But to my surprise, the dude (real name, Kal Penn) didn't say a damn thing throughout the entire movie. Now that I think of it, I think he was the only notable cast member without a single line of dialogue. A lost opportunity.

Hopefully next few comic book to screen adaptions hold up to their hype- some are looking blistering hot, others- cold as a penguin's turd in Antartica.

Here's a short list of those coming soon:

Spiderman 3- Summer '07; featuring Sandman and the alien suit... Wendy's baked potato hot

Ghost Rider- Feb. '07; balding Nick Cage with a hairpiece/turned skeleton driving biker nutjob... Penguin turd cold.

Wolverine- TBD '08?; X-Men spinoff with potential Weapon X storyline...add a solid villain and this'll be solid.

Iron Man- Summer '08; directed by Jon Favreau of Swingers and IFC's Dinner for Five...too early to tell; give the title role played by Ghostface Killah, aka Tony Stark = mui caliente.

Rangers Visit Carolina- Purchase Players, Leave Fireworks Behind

2006-07-04T15:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Independence Day! While in camping in Maine last week, away from the wired world, no phones, internet, TV, or radio, I totally forgot about the Stanley Cup, which came down the final 7th game. Apparently the Carolina Hurricanes came out on top, which I found out a few days later by a merchant in a Bar Harbor tourist shop. Soo old news, I know, but on a related, not-so-old note, yesterday the Rangers picked up shot-blocking machine Aaron Ward, a key defenseman from this year's Championship team. Smart move Sather, to improve Blueshirts' shallow, injury- prone defense. This is the 2nd Carolina pickup in the past week, snatching up forward Matt Cullen on Saturday. Hopefully bringing these dudes on board will help the Rangers' locker room with some much needed leadership and drive to get beyond the first round next season.

Since we're on the topic of hockey, this weekend Hockeytown's captain, 41 yr. old Steve Yzerman, hung up the skates after 22 years, all with the Detroit Red Wings. Damn that's a long time. I never was a fan of Yzerman, mostly because of this pretty boy media persona, which has no place in hockey, but I have to say, he was a great player and leader. Here are some memorable stats for the 20 yr captain (longest running in NHL history):

6 consecutive 100pt seasons
Led Red Wings to 3 Stanely Cups
692 goals and 1,063 assists in 1,514 regular-season games
70 goals and 115 assists in 196 Stanley Cup Playoff games

Happy 4th! Try to keep your digits attached to your limbs!

Back from the Land of Stephen King

2006-06-27T22:37:00.000-04:00

Kathy and I just returned Sunday from a week long trip to Maine, spending the first half of the week in Acadia National Park, and the second half in the coastal town of Bar Harbor, both part of Mount Desert Island (pronounced 'dessert'). If you love the outdoors, seafood, whale watching, and watching white people (the latter two could be one of the same), this is your kind of town!

To sum it all up, here's a snapshot by day of trip highlights (notice that the trip starts with ultra phyisical activity and descends into pure seafood gourding):

Saturday, June 17
Woke up at the butt crack of dawn, packed up the gear and was on the road by 5am. Not only did we survived my driving, but made the trip in about 8.5 hours, 1.5 hrs earlier than expected. Set up camp, took a stroll of the Blackwoods campgrounds, made beef kababs over a cracklin' fire.

Sunday, June 18
Crazy ass hiking day. Roughly 13.5 miles. Originally planned for 6 miles, then catch the L.L. Bean island shuttle bus back to camp, until discovering that the shuttle doesn't start operating until Tues. Damn You L.L. Bean and your flannel button downs! Hit Cadillac Mountain via South Ridge Trail, then Sieur de Mont Spring via Gorges Path to Hemlock Trail, then headed south along the Tarn and Canon Brook Trail, back to the South Ridge Trail for the homestretch to camp. The view from Cadillac's peak was absolutely stunning, too bad there were so many Southern Obese up at the top who drove it. Wanted to roll those mofos down the mountain. Sausage and Peppers over a cracklin fire was a quite delicious way to end the day.

Monday, June 19
Crazy ass biking day. Roughly 45 miles. Hit the Jordan Pond House, Jordan Pond, and Eagle Lake in the AM, then took the Park Loop Road back visiting the Wild Gardens of Acadia, Sand Beach, Thunder Hole, and Otter Point. Classic campfire dinner: Nathan's hot dogs and cheese burgers baby!

Tuesday, June 20
Hiked the Ladder Trail (know for it's metal ladders and killer stone steps) and climbed up Dorr Mountain in the morning. Returned to camp for a hot dog lunch. Headed off to Echo Lake in the PM for some sun and semi-frigid lake swimming. More hot dogs and burgers! Finished the camping portion of the trip by heading up to Cadillac Mountain for sunset, which almost didn't happen due to intense thunder booms and fog.

Wednesday, June 21
Checked out of Blackwoods campground and into the Wonderview Inn in Bar Harbor, 15 minutes away. Lucked out with one of the few 2nd floor rooms with a great view of Frenchman's Bay. Walked around town, lunched at the Fish House Grill, researched whales at the Whale Museum, and for dinner, enjoyed the Lobster Bake experience at the Bar Harbor Lobster Bake. Fresh lobsta', ice tea, and all you can eat coleslaw, mussels, and corn on the cob, with blueberry cake to end it, oh it was indeed a fat man's paradise.

Thursday, June 22
Started the morning activities early catching the 9am Whale watching trip off the pier. This, I could have passed on in retrospect. We did actually see whales, at least a few spouts and the occaisional fin and tail surfacing, but if you blinked and missed it, the other sight you could have witnessed were the several asians getting seasick in the galley. (Is it a sterotypical fact that asians don't have sea legs? After this trip, that comment would not offend me.) Staying strong for the first three hours, I thought I avoided being asian sea sick victim #5, but during the final two hours, I was almost one of those poor bastards- head between the legs, wearing vomit upon the sleeve and pantlegs. Luckily, I made it through unscathed, managing to catch view of some puffins on the ride back into port. Finished the day getting my land legs back and dining at Galyn's, a local favorite. Lobster linguine was terrific.

Friday, June 23
Breakfasted at Jordan's Restaurant, an old school diner-like establishment famous for their blueberry pancakes and muffins. Delish! Walked along the Shore Path, mansion viewing, drooling. Visited the Bar Harbor Brewery- great little local brewery run out of a couples home. Great tour, with generous tasting samples. Bought lots o' beer home. Dinner at the Trenton Lobster Bake, delicious lobster, vicious mosquitos in the outdoor table area. Finished the night off with Great Maine Lumberjack Show, featuring Chicks with Axes! (I shit you not). Log rolling, wood chopping, tree climbing, axe throwing competitions- pure friggin' heaven.

Saturday, June 24
Visited the quiet side of Mt. Desert Island in Southwest Harbor, taking a mailboat to Little Cranberry Island. Interesting mix of mega estates and semi-impovished farm houses. Mosquitos galore, almost to the point of insanity. On the drive back, visited the Asticou Azalea and Thules Gardens, very cool zen-like environment. Spent the afternoon pool side at the inn. Enjoyed our last seafood delight at Cafe Bluefin, a charming restaurant with an eclectic seafood fare. And finished the last night off with, but of course, the Ultimate Fighter Finale, the first time I've watched TV all week! (besides catching the all new Making the Band 3 just preceding it- that Diddy sure does good reality boy). Thank you Allah for cable in hotels!

Sunday, June 25
Final taste of Maine breakfast at Jordan's Restaurant, then off we go back to NY!

Season of the Pig

2006-06-12T22:28:00.000-04:00

New York City summer street festivals have taken a turn for the worse over the years, becoming so ubiquitous and generic nowadays, it's tough to get excited about them. From the 6th Avenue Summerfest, the Park Avenue Summerfest, the Murray Hill Festival, the Lexington Avenue Summerfest, New York street festivals have become a formulaic weekend event that offers little other than giving New Yorkers cramped in their studio apartments a reason to go outside and providing unaware out-of-town drivers the unlucky fortune of spending an additional forty-five minutes getting across town. At any festival, you'll find the same ol' bag o' shit- street vendors pushing leather wallets, tube socks, cheap jewelry, t-shirts with inciteful messages like "New York Fuckng City," framed photos of the Brooklyn Bridge, refrigerator magnets in the shape of fruit- and food vendors selling cornbread and mozzarella sandwiches, sausage and peppers heroes, zeppolies, gyros, and lemonade.

So it's ever so refreshing to find a festival that adds a little more. And when I say more, I mean more beer, more greasy unhealthy food, more hordes of people goodness.

You know it's summer in the city when the repugnant scent of hot garbage begins to compete with the magical scent of cooked farm animals smothered in barbecue sauce. As was the case this weekend with the 4th Annual Big Apple Barbecue Festival coming to town.

Beyond the crowded food lines for the ten-plus barbecue pit masters: from Texas to Nevada, from North Carolina to....131st Street, the mood was festive, the beer was flowing, the bands were jammin' and the BBQ was finga lickin' good. Bringing the overweight South to the overweight Northeast, it was a grand ol' time. However, for next year, I would only attend again if they improve the food service line operations, considering that even those poor schmucks who purchased 'express passes' for $125 bucks seemed to have waited just as long as us lay folk. I would have been much more upset with the lines except that my less than sharp server mistakenly gave my friend and I four additional whole pork sandwiches, instead of the two waters we had requested. As I slyly left the line with my free booty, convincing myself that the long wait and the over-priced $7 plate justified my in-action to alert the vendor of his mistake, and feeling like a total fatso with 4 extra meals, I couldn't help but be reminded of Popeye's Wimpy: "I'd gladly pay you never for 4 pork sandwiches today."

“The NBA, I Hate This Game!”

2006-06-09T00:19:00.000-04:00

Perhaps hate is too strong a word. I could give a rat's ass about who wins this year’s NBA finals, which begin tonight. Whether it’s the Miami Heat , or the Dallas Mavericks, it makes no difference to me.

However, fake news about sports always can make unlikable sports fun. Case in point, this gem from the Onion today:

Mavericks To Incorporate Machetes Into Hack-A-Shaq Defense

Lord Stanley Awaits

2006-06-04T18:22:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow begins the last stretch of the NHL Playoffs, the Stanley Cup Finals. Although the NY Rangers have been out of the picture from what seems like an eternity already, I'm looking forward to embracing the final hockey games of the season, regardless of who's in it. The Carolina Hurricanes could be considered the favorite, if you go purely by who had the better regular season record, but to anyone who's been watching the playoffs, the Edmonton Oilers have been on a tear, surprisingly blowing first past the number one seed Detroit Red Wings in the Western Conference in 6 games (I'm still amazed that 'Hockeytown' is still standing and not burned to ashes, looted, and declared a city under martial law after that series ended), followed by a California cleanup, taking out the San Jose Sharks and Anaheim Mighty Ducks in quick fashion. It's been 13 years since Anaheim joined the NHL, and I still get douche chills every time I'm forced to call them 'the Mighty Ducks'.

After taking out the Canadiens in the first round, Carolina was thought to have their hands full against the New Jersey Devils, who up to that point were seemingly unstoppable since the last few weeks of the regular season, continuing their 15 game winning streak by sweeping the Rangers in the first round. I was hoping the Devils would go far at that point, just to be able to say that New Jersey were simply too good and the Rangers had no shot anyways, but that all changed when Carolina knocked out Brodeur and company easily in five games. It was only until meeting Buffalo where Carolina's Cup fate was in question. The just barely eked out a series win in the final minutes of the seventh game over the Sabers, a first sign of wear and tear possibly starting to show.

I'll be rooting for Edmonton, since it may be their last shot at the Cup before their team gets relocated to a U.S. city (we'll take the hockey team, you keep the terrorists 'eh?). Hopefully winning Lord Stanley it will prevent that move from happening, but the way the business is going, it may be just a matter of time before we are calling them the Texas Oilers.

As for Carolina, it's hard for me to root for a team that used to have a green whale as their mascot, during those days in Connecticut as the Hartford Whalers. Come on, can you blame me?

F-R-E-A-K-I-N-G P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E

2006-06-01T21:05:00.000-04:00

'Aww Damnnn, what the fuck did you just say dogg? Can you slap that shit in a sentence?'

Welcome to Summer TV, where the top season finales have concluded, and repeats, bottom-of-the-barrel reality shows, and oddball specials enter your living room.

Tonight, ABC hosts live the final round of the 2006 Scripps National Spelling Bee , two hours of watching awkward pre-teens crap their pants standing on stage while trying to spell crazy ass words like h-e-i-l-i-g-e-n-s-c-h-e-i-n. I must say, in the company of repeat episodes of That 70's Show, The Office, and watching a make-up caked Leslie Nielsen play Let's Make a Deal on CBS' Gameshow Marathon, the Bee doesn't sound that bad, and it isn't. These kids are nervous, awkward, emotional- themselves. It's actually refreshing to see such pure drama, no nutty obstacle courses, no eating crazy contests, no voting people off, just kid versus word.

I'm reminded of my adolescedent days, where I actually thought for a while that getting far in the school spelling bee was gonna actually help me get to 2nd base with the chicks (get to 3rd base at my Catholic elementary school and you might as well have a marble statue built in your name). Boy was I wrong. It seems like epochs ago, where PCs weren't ubiquitous, but rather were a novelty, in the form of a Commodore 64. Spell check was just in it's infancy stage, and the Internet was non-existent. I'm glad these youngbloods are keeping the art of vocabulary and spelling alive. In an age where computers do most of the heavy lifting for the brain, there's something to be said about picking up a dictionary and reading it, learning it, and applying it, old-school style.

Start the Summer Off Right... With Some Ground and Pound

2006-05-29T18:04:00.000-04:00

On my drive home this afternoon after a nice three-day weekend in the Catskills, far removed from the city, I pondered what a relaxing time it's been- kayaking and canoeing on the lake, fishing bass and pickerel, playing cards with the family, biking the quiet roads of the upper Hudson Valley. My mind was clear of all the distractions I left behind- work, chores, TV, Internet. However, one thought from the connected world lingered within my mind: UFC 60 was this Saturday.

(For anyone who's not been following this blog (shame on you), and doesn't know what the UFC is at this point, you can get a primer from my previous post here.)

My fight of the weekend: a 15 inch bass

This past Saturday was the big fight between the current welterweight champion, Matt Hughes, versus the world-revered jiu-jitsu fighter, Royc e Gracie. The hype-machine cup was frothing over, building this match as one for the ages- the country farm born, straw-chewing, XYience-drinking hick who happens to be arguably the best pound-for-pound mixed martial artist in the world, against the return of a fighting legend whose family lineage helped create what we know as mixed martial arts and the Ultimate Fighting Championship today. In the process, he also made wrestling half-naked men on the ground absolutely baaad assss. Trivia note: The Gracie family started the original Ultimate Fighting Championship to prove that their style of martial arts (Gracie jiu-jitsu) was the best, as it pitted different styles of martial arts against each other- Karate vs. Judo, Kung Fu vs. Boxing, etc. The first UFC confirmed that theory, this match would again put the Gracie jiu-jitsu style to the test.

As always, the UFC is televised via pay per view, and as always, I neither pay for it, nor do I go to a local Hooters to watch it live. All weekend, I yearned to find out who won and how. The only time I watched TV at the lake house was to see if the local sports news anchor happened to cover it- no such luck. Then I checked the local paper to see if it was mentioned anywhere in the sports section, to no avail. Only until this afternoon back home and wired was I able to get the lowdown. And thanks to YouTube, and fans that love to share, I get to watch it too!

NOTE: this video is viewable as of May 29, 6:59pm ET. I presume once the UFC digital police come back on to work tomorrow, they'll have YouTube remove any user created digital recordings of this event, as they've done in the past. So enjoy it while it lasts. To see other fights of that evening (while they're up), search for 'UFC 60.'

To meet the demand of viewing this and other classic bouts when you want it, the UFC is finally getting into the online 'On-Demand' video realm by launching 'UFC On Demand'. However, since I'm on a Mac and don't meet the system requirements currently, I'm unable to see what they have to offer, so I'm forced to continue getting my fill from YouTube's generous copyright infringing members.

For those still not convinced this sport is catching on and spreading into the mainstream like ebola in the Sudan, the TV trade publication TV Week just today reported that Fox Sports, MTV2, and Oxygen (yes, that chick channel brought to you by this woman) have all got on the mixed martial arts bandwagon. After seeing the success that Spike TV has had with televising events and creating a popular reality based show around the sport, all three networks are planning to produce similar themed programming based on mixed martial arts. It looks like the corporate suits are starting to get over the violent stigma tied to the sport and are seeing green behind those bloodied faces.

Ma Takes Bauer Down. Down to Chinatown

2006-05-23T23:00:00.000-04:00

Never underestimate the cunningness of the Chinese government, particularly in the world of 24, where loose ends always seem to have their way of coming back with a vengeance and biting Jack Bauer in his lost boy ass.

In last night's season finale, in stunning fashion, China's deputy consul, Cheng Zhi (played by Tzi Ma), strikes back within the final minutes of Jack Bauer's day, roughing him up, kidnapping him, tossing him on a ship to China, and leaving Audrey Raines alone, as she heads to IHOP for a Grand Slam Breakfast for one.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed Day 5, I personally found this season a bit more over-the-top than past seasons for some reason. Perhaps it was that the show spent three hours hunting down a tape recorder that was destroyed in a matter of seconds so ridiculously easy, when they could have simply made copies of it immediately onto Jack's PDA once he had it (don't even tell me that PDA thing doesn't have a voice recorder function to it) - or was it the randomness of James Heller deciding to drive off a cliff and die, then coming back to life, but for no apparent reason (at least for now), the stupid easy way Bierko escaped from CTU, or why no one seemed the least bit tired at 4am? I could go on, but I must say, this final scene with the Chinese totally took me off guard.

Kudos for the giving one final zing to a good, but not the best, 24 season (last season was my fave). However, setting up a cliffhanger like this involving the Chinese government definitely redeemed some of the past 24 hour leaps of faith. These next few months leading up to January's premiere should incubate several good theories about what's in store for Day 6. Will a new character be the focus whose mission will be to save Jack? Will Jack be forced to serve as a Double Agent to China? Will Jack find new Asian love in the Orient? We'll have to see.

One final note on 24 this season- pop quiz- what does Tzi Ma (pictured above), have in common with Graham, VP Hal Gardner, and Christopher Henderson? Yep, he too appeared in a Robocop film (refer to 4/25/06 post)! Don't believe me? Check his filmography at IMDB.

Running Man Cometh

2006-05-21T21:28:00.000-04:00

This past week, I realized that it's been a while since I experienced true mental and physical pain, so I decided, what better way to remedy that by running a marathon! On Wednesday, the Marine Corps Marathon opened up its registration to the public, and guess who made sure they were registered bright and early? Yep, I'm a schmuck.

My first and only marathon I participated in to date has been the New York City Marathon back in 2002. That was a truly incredible race, one that I will never forget. From the sounds of supporting New Yorkers, to the sight of thousands of athlete's competing for one single goal, it felt like you owned the streets of New York City, just for a brief while, although at times it seemed like an eternity. Of course, there's those kill me moments like the dry heaves at mile 20, the leg and stomach cramps at mile 21 thru 24, the delirium spell that almost led to a near collapse from sheer exhaustion at mile 25, and that one block in Queens that reeked of hot garbage, but all in all, the glory of finishing surpassed all that.

I also recall the preparation I endured leading up to that day. If there was ever a reason for me not to run another marathon again, training would be it. In short, long runs bite the big one. Not that I had an extensive game plan- I found out I was accepted into the race in September after originally being denied via lottery. Apparently, many international racers that year decided not to run, most likely due to post-9/11 fears at that time. So when I received an email asking me if I still wanted in, considering I've been unsuccessful in getting a bid via the lottery system for the past few years, I figured, what the hell. After forcing myself to follow a semi-accelerated training schedule for those next few weeks, I surprised myself in completing the race in 3 hours, 30 minutes (and 9 seconds net for you bean counters), thirty minutes under my goal time of 4 hours. That was three and a half long ass years ago.

This year I'm sure things will be different. Whether I can muster up enough game to break my personal record, or simply survive and finish the race, that'll be known 10/29. But I've got five months from now, and a crap load of time to get my ass into gear. Fade in...procrastination.

My, My, My

2006-05-19T19:11:00.000-04:00

Since when did the NHL and UPN share marketing agencies?

Given that the key audiences for each brand are demographically different, it isn't surprising that more people haven't noticed this.

Fool Me Once...

2006-05-17T00:35:00.000-04:00

Damn you Bush for cutting into May Sweeps!

This is what you get- a disgruntled CNN cameraman and producer that rolls to your national TV address during rehearsal. The deer in the headlights reaction is classic.

This belongs in the "America elected this guy?!?!" Hall of Fame clips:

Whether your a Democrat or a Republican, how can you deny this man's a tool?

Big Geek Paradise 2006 (E3 recap)

2006-05-14T12:37:00.000-04:00

On Friday, I returned from what is considered the yearly Mecca of video game geekdom, the annual Electronic Entertainment Expo, also known as E3. For those who don't know what E3 is, it's a four day annual conference for the video game industry, where companies from around the world introduce their latest PC and console hardware and software products coming to market, discuss business strategies and analyze current consumer trends, and perhaps most importantly, play games. It's known for its big geeks, big displays, and big bombs, which usually come in the form of booth babes- models dressed up in ridiculous outfits, usually a medieval or science fiction theme, luring people toward their booth for a cheesy photo op. If this all sounds a bit surreal, it is.

After three days, I'm absolutely exhausted. I know, it sounds ridiculous. How can playing video games be tiring? But believe me, walking around for ten hours a day, maneuvering among a sea of overweight and awkward looking men with bad B.O. from Europe, Asia and America, and having your eyes absorb at least fifty giant plasma screen TVs bombarding you with video game footage at any given moment, creates a sensory overload experience like no other place. Am I complaining? Hell's no. This was my second year attending (one of the key pluses for working at my company), and unlike last year- when the buzz was about defining what the hell 'Next Gen' meant, this year proved to be about showcasing actual playable games, hands-on, for the 'big 3' game consoles: Microsoft's Xbox 360, Sony's Play Station 3, and Nintendo's Wii. Flashy game trailers would simply not suffice, and I'm happy to say I was not disappointed.

Here are some personal highlights:
Xbox 360

Dead Rising:

I love zombies- the George Romero films, Shaun of the Dead- classics. The House of the Dead shoot 'em up arcade game- I eat that shit up. The premise of this game is that you're a freelance photojournalist who lands down via helicopter in a small Colorado town to investigate and hopefully break a big story after hearing rumors that there's civil disobedience running amok. It isn't long before you realize that the place is ground zero for the living dead on Earth. You have only a few hours to figure out what started it all before your chopper returns to pick you up, that is, if you survive.

The gameplay is open ended, a la Grand Theft Auto. The entire game takes place in the mall, but the place is ginormous. Although you discover missions to complete, you can easily spend the entire time roaming the mall finding new ways to kill your undead company. Practically anything can be used as a weapon: golf clubs, garbage cans, hangers, stuffed animals, potted plants, TVs, brooms, you name it. Zombie horror, with a strong story line plus innovating killing- this may be the game that drives me to finally buy the 360.

PS3
Resistance: Fall of Man

This first person shooter may be the Gears of War killer for the PS3. The graphics and game play of the demo feel truly next generation, with insane battle sequences that pit your squad against some crazy-ass looking foes. Microsoft may have it's work cut out for them in proving they're still the console king of the FPS.

Nintendo Wii

I can't say there was any particular game that stood out for the Wii that I saw that blew me away, but the gameplay functionality of that wacky controller was actually pretty fun. Playing a tennis game where I actually had to swing my joystick like I was using a racket blew my mind. It took some getting used to, but I think there's potential for this console to really add something new to how people play games and how gaming is perceived to the mainstream.

Quick anecdote- I saw an two older people (in their fifties) play this tennis game; the wife stood a bit too close behind her husband playing and received a fierce backhand to the face as he prepared to unleash a wicked forehand volley, whipping the controller backward and cold clocked her unknowingly. She almost fell down the steps and into a sound speaker. I almost pissed myself.

EA made a bold move to release Madden '07 on this platform using the Wii controller. The mechanics and controller functionality seemed like it may take some getting used to, like throwing a pass, kicking a field goal, and giving a stiff arm, but time will tell whether this console will work and bring something new for this monster EA Sports franchise.

Madden 07 on the Wii

It was an incredible trip. If there was any question if I would end up buying an HDTV and a new game console his coming holiday, what I saw in LA this past week squashed that uncertainty right quick.

Calling All Celebrity Sellouts

2006-05-03T21:57:00.000-04:00

It's becoming more and more challenging these days for companies to get Americans excited about their brand. Consumers today are fickle about who they allow to enter their three-second attention span worlds, and as a result, marketers must be as aggressive as ever to draw visibility to their products. What better way to do that by harnessing the power of the celebrity!

Recently, the NHL, attempting to come back this year and win the hearts and minds of millions of Americans who barely noticed the hockey lockout last year that caused the entire season to be cancelled, hired two agencies specifically to recruit celebrities to appear at this year's playoffs for the sole purpose of generating PR buzz that will hopefully build some 'street cred' to the sport and spark some interest among the masses. They've already been successful in getting Keifer Sutherland and Denis Leary, two true hockey fans, to produce promo pieces during the playoffs.

Apparently, George Clooney turned down a free ticket and travel to any game anywhere in the country, all expenses paid. He claims to be strictly a baseball, basketball, football fan. I claim he's strictly a chump. I wonder how deep the NHL will dig to find a celebrity willing to take them up on an offer to attend a free game with the VIP treatment? I hear Carrot Top is taking calls.

In another case, the TV upfronts are start this week, the time of year when the TV networks pitch advertisers their upcoming show lineups to secure early advertising dollars 'upfront.' MTV went out with a bang yesterday and solicited the talent of Jon Stuart, Sarah Silverman, Stephen Colbert (fresh of his White House Correspondent's Dinner gig) and even Dora the Explorer to entertain and lure the suits to spending more benjamins this year for their beloved company. I'm sure these talented folks are compensated well for these speaking engagements, perhaps it's even written in their Viacom contracts to appear, and considering they're pitching for funding for their show, I don't take too much offense by it. However, something seems a little unsanitary in the lengths companies will go to put on such a horse and pony show for the almighty dollar. Am I being a pessimist? A sourpuss? A gloomy Gus? A Debbie Downer? Possibly. After all, MTV is simply 'shaking what their momma gave ya,' but something stinks, and it ain't Robert Downey's ass. For now, I'll take the advice of a wise man's proverb which seems appropriate: 'Don't hate the playa, hate the game.'

And on that note, I'll end with this- there's nothing quite like seeing celebrities endorse foreign products, particularly from those eccentric Japanese...like these:

Jack, get back to CTU, now!

Arnold, "What... the hell... are you?"

Van 'Dammage'- I'm glad you were able to supplement your drug addiction after Bloodsport with this high paying gig.

The Broom Is Out, The Clubs Are Packed,

2006-05-01T23:19:00.000-04:00

...LET'S GO GOLFING!

Yes, as I predicted, the NY Rangers ended their highly anticipated '05-'06 playoff run with another lackluster performance on Saturday with a 4-2 loss by a dominant NJ Devils club, thus commencing the all too familiar, Rangers 'Early-Bird Special' May golf season. To add insult to injury, Jaromir Jagr, the Rangers' best player and until recently, a favorite for league MVP, reinjured his shoulder just 53 seconds into the first period. This ended any hope Ranger fans had of a Messier-eque comeback of the century.

Jagr's injury not only added the proverbial nail in the coffin for the Rangers, but also put into jeopardy his and his team's future come next season, five months from now. Five months may sound like a long ways away, but considering this dude is already 34 years old, and it could take between two to three months to recoup from shoulder surgery (so the 'pros' say), things could look interesting come September. Even if he is back, some of his Czech buddies may not be- Martin Rucinsky, Martin Straka, and Petr Sykora are all free agents next season.

What does the future hold? Hopefully another shot in the playoffs, minus the humiliation of being defeated by a state known for Bon Jovi and its uncanny geographical resemblance to a mailman; a state whose idea of a Stanley Cup ticker-tape parade is driving around the Continental Airlines Arena parking lot, albeit a state whose team obliterated the best NY Ranger squad in over a decade in four straight games.

Wii.T.F.?

2006-05-01T17:23:00.000-04:00

With E3 2006 just around the corner (May 9-12), Nintendo last week decided to unveil the new name of their next generation console: Wii, pronounced 'Wee'.

The minute the story broke, the game community was all over it. Needless to say, it didn't take very long to deliberate their verdict, which was: the name sucks. From Nintendo's point of view, its simple visual and phonetic identity will be universal and easily understood across the globe; this can't be said about its previous name, the 'Revolution.' Although 'Revolution' aptly describes its unique controller, it did sound strikingly similar in theme to Xbox's '360'. You can read the official naming logic of those crazy Japanese here. My thought is that if the games for this resonate with people, you can call this 'The Shit Box' and people will buy it in droves. Personally, instead of 'Wii', I would have pushed for 'Wu,' as in Wu-Tang Clan fo' ever muthaf**ker, but that's just me.

Based on Nintendo's history of games on their consoles, with the exception of Resident Evil 4, the Wii (did I just call it that?) won't be my cup of tea. There's something... seemingly impure... I find in playing these Nintendo games- with those squeaky odd sounds, cute anime looking, dwarf-size characters, that make me feel like I should join the priesthood after playing- and not in that good-priesthood way. I admit, the innovative new controller is something that I'm interested to try out and see how it works with different games, but if all I'm doing is using it to jump over a turtle in a Mario game, I'll pass. If you need a primer of how this new controller works and how it's supposed to 'revolutionize' playing games as we know it, check out the controller teaser video here:

I hope to get my hands of this mofo when I'm out at E3 next week- stay tuned for more info.

24: Jack Bauer vs. The Cast From Robocop

2006-04-25T10:11:00.000-04:00

This season is just full of surprises. The body count continues to rise as this week (spoiler alert!), another main character bites the dust. Not only that, another alum from Robocop enters the fray: actor Paul McCrane, playing the mysterious Bluetooth-wearing power broker 'Graham'. If you recall, Paul played the infamous goon 'Emil', known for this famous one liner. His introduction into the plot arrives just in time as Robocop's character, 'Henderson' (the actor's real name is Peter Weller), is finally taken into custody by Curtis, the consistently under-appreciated agent who seems to be a regular punching bag for Jack.

I'm anxiously awaiting who else turns up this season.

Ronny Cox as Dick Jones?

Kurtwood Smith as Clarence Boddicker?

or ED-209 as itself?

Going Down, Down, Down Down

2006-04-24T22:07:00.000-04:00

Utterly disgusting. First a Devil's shorthanded goal. Then a Devil's powerplay goal. Then an uncapitalized 2 man advantage powerplay, immediately followed by a Devil's breakaway goal, scored by a Ranger defenseman...with 6 seconds left in the 2nd period...shorthanded! (see image) Final tally: 4-1 Devils. Probably the 2nd worst post season Ranger game I've seen ever, the first being Game 1 last Saturday.

It's like a bad dream. At least we had an enjoyable regular season. The next two games are at the Garden, though I hardly see that as an advantage at this point. Prediction: clean sweep- Devils, 4 - Rangers, 0.

Please prove me wrong. Whether it's Weekes or Lundqvist at the net, let's play like you got a pair! What I think what the Rangers locker room needs to get their blood flowing is to see some old time hockey, like this!:

The Revolution Will Be Televised, Online

2006-04-17T22:07:00.000-04:00

In the latest experiment in the digital entertainment foray, ABC last week announced that they will soon begin offering a select number TV shows, among them: Lost, Alias, Commander in Chief, free of charge on their online website: ABC.com. Why? They, like other networks, are testing the waters of online video and feeling out people's behavior toward watching a show online. Will this test prove fruitful as a new way to provide entertainment to consumers, while creating a sustainable new revenue stream for networks? Who the hell knows!

Americans are currently going though an interesting transition period in how we consume entertainment. TV screens are getting bigger, smaller, flatter, wider, and some aren't even TVs anymore, but rather desktop monitors, iPods, cell phones, and PSPs. The tremendous growth of broadband and the technological wizardry and marketing behind multi-functional gadgets are creating the perfect storm of cataclysmic digital consumption, transforming not only what we consume, but also how we consume our entertainment. With any new paradigm shift of consumers habits comes the lovely growing pains of corporations scrambling to find their place in a new landscape, which essentially comes down to them throwing enough shit against a wall to see what sticks. We are that wall.

What does this mean to the Average Joe? For me, it's a mix of emotions, from sheer jubilance to utter frustration. Within the past year, like many of you, I discovered iFilm and YouTube, which are essentially online versions of America's Funniest Home videos, multiplied by a million. I can spend hours watching videos from YouTube's Pet and Animal channel. Wanna see an anaconda eat a hippo? How about two cats battling it out? A giant centipede eat a mouse? All available in just a few clicks.

It recently occurred to me that I could also find some of my favorite UFC fights online as well, and I did...at least until about two weeks ago. A few tech savvy video uploaders were posting the latest Pay Per View fights only a few hours after it aired live on TV. Why pay $50 bucks, when you can get it for free? I knew it was all too good to last. Within a few days, practically all of UFC's fights were removed due from YouTube due to copyright infrigement. NBC took similar action a few months back when iFilm and YouTube was forced to remove SNL's "Lazy Sunday" skit from their video libraries. The only difference in that instance was the sheer irony that the clip's success was directly attributed to the very sites NBC hunted down to remove its content from. A perfect example of the current FUBAR state of online video content and distribution.

There will be a day in the near future where all content available on TV will also be available online. Until then, expect to be exposed to all sorts of video experiments, from 'webisodes', to 'mobisodes', to user generated content created as part of a crafty marketing campaign. Expect to have to sit through commercials to watch online videos for free, pay to watch without commercials, pay to download, provide your personal info to watch, all in the name of the almighty dollar. Nothing is free, unless of course it's illegal. And until the powers that be find a better way to regulate proprietary content on the web, it'll be up to us, the public, to determine what shit sticks and what doesn't, and do what we do best, consume.

J-ust A-nother G-reat R-anger

2006-04-08T23:16:00.000-04:00

It took you five games, but you finally did it you crazy Czech! Scoring goal number fifty-three this afternoon in a comeback win against the Bruins, surpassing Adam Graves' all time Ranger record of fifty-two from the miraculous '93-'94 Stanley Cup year, was one for the record books. Not only that, you also helped secure the team's 100th point of the year, only the sixth time that has happened in franchise history and the first time since...yes, the '93-'94 Stanley Cup season. Earlier this week, you helped clinch the first playoff birth since 1997, breaking the longest playoff drought for a team in NHL history . Could this be really happening?

You bet your Blueshirt ass this is for real. This team just doesn't know how to quit. Looking back at the start of the season, no Ranger fan, including myself, would have any reason to believe that this team would be like any other Ranger team in the past twelve years, a team with inept upper management, shoddy coaching, teammates with poor chemistry, and most of all, a team that enjoys playing golf in May. Man, were we all wrong. Wanna to read something funny? Check out Sports Illustrated's NHL preview report from October earlier this year here. This just shows you how incredible this season has been. Who would have known Jagr would have the season he's been having and gel so perfectly with his Czech mates? That Lundqvist would emerge as a top contender for Rookie of the Year, with Petr Prucha right there next to him for that achievement? That the team would have the ability to sustain a lead and come from behind to win games? Unbelievable. For me, I think the turning point that made me start to believe that this was different Ranger team occurred on the evening of November 26 with Malik's ridiculous goal:

However, the season ain't over yet, and the playoffs are waiting for you. Jagr, you've got more goals to score, more points to rack up, and more records to break. Don't stop now. Keep those highlight reels coming:

Return of the Fist: The Ultimate Fighter 3

2006-04-08T09:41:00.000-04:00

This past Thursday was the return of my favorite reality show of all time- The Ultimate Fighter 3 (TUF 3), (my second fave being the short lived Combat Missions). For those not familiar with TUF3 premise:

This is the true story,
of 16 mixed martial artists,
picked to live in a house,
train together and have their lives taped,
to find out what happens,
when people stop being polite,
and start getting real...by beating the ever lovin' piss out of each other.

The sport is mixed martial arts. The fighters, composed of two weight classes, are divided into two teams, each trained under the guidance of a professional UFC fighter, and pitted against on another in a one to one fight each week. This season brings on board Ken Shamrock and Tito Ortiz as coaches, two seasoned fighting professionals with no love lost between them, which should make for some great drama. The prize for the last fighter standing? A six figure contract to fight in the UFC.

The TUF3 coaches. Anyone want a Rice Krispie treat?

Coming off of last season (TUF2), where the talent pool paled in comparision to season 1, this year's talent looks promising. An added improvement to the show this year will be the removal of 'challenges,' which were quirky physical events that each team would compete against the other to determine who would have the power to decide which fighter would fight whom next. Part of the competition's strategy is to have the control to pick your team's superior fighter against the other's weaker fighter, although this strategy anything but foolproof.
This created a loophole where more than one fighter could fight more than once, while others would not fight at all, sneaking by into the semi-finals. This sucked when you saw that they weren't very good and should have gotten their beat down a long time ago. Another change for the better is a rule requiring each fighter to fight once, so no more free rides. To secure control of deciding who fights whom next, you simply have to win your fight. Earn it in the octagon bitch.

The jury is still out on whether the blatant product placements for Right Guard Xtreme deodorant or XYience nutrition powder will be back this season. None were seen after the first episode, which is reassuring. Hopefully they can keep that streak up. Please don't sell-out, commercials are there for a reason.

Never Forget, But In Case You Did...

2006-04-05T22:01:00.000-04:00

In a few weeks, whether you're ready for it or not, the summer movie season will be upon us. Back in the day, before movie studio marketing budgets exploded to where they are now, the summer movie season officially started Memorial Day weekend, the last weekend in May. Now, it seems to have crept up almost one full month ahead, with Mission Impossible III releasing May 5th- and one smaller movie that could fly under the radar (horrid pun) as one of the most talked about summer movies of the season. United 93, a film based on the only terrorist attack on September 11 that was thwarted, will be released on April 28, and it's already causing controversy.

It was about a week and a half ago when this film's official trailer was released online. I first saw the preview in theaters when I saw The Inside Man on opening weekend (an excellent cops and robbers flick with an exceptional cast). This week the preview made news when it was pulled from being seen in a New York movie theater after a woman broke down in tears after seeing it. We're not talking about the actual movie, but only the trailer. Question: If we censor this trailer to the public, will the terrorist have won? This sounds like sarcasm, but I'm half not-joking.

I've asked few friends about their feelings toward this event being told on screen. Most have the expected response, "I've been through that day in New York first hand, and have seen it over and over again in the days and weeks after, why would I want to spend $10 to re-live it now on a giant screen? I'm saving that dough up for Mi:III the week after. Do you think Tom Cruise will likely be a dad by then?" Okay, that Mi:III part I made up, but the general consensus is that people are troubled by it.

I think I'm one of the few people that is actually really interested in seeing the film. When I first heard about it in the works, I admit I had my concerns, but I think Universal's positioned the film well and has been pretty careful in the way they've presented it thus far. If you go to the movie's website, you're able to view a short feature from the director providing his perspective of the film, with interviews from several family members sharing their thoughts on why they believe this story should be told as a film at this time. It was originally called simply 'Flight 93,' but changed probably to help clarify that it's not about the flight, but about the people in the flight that made the ultimate sacrifice, on their terms. Of all the documentaries, books and articles I've seen and read over the years about that dreadful day, this is probably the single most heroic story with the least documentation on what transpired during those 84 minutes up there. Will it be tough to watch? Mostly likely. Emotional? Absolutely. Will we think about it after the credits roll? Hopefully. But isn't that the point, to never forget?

Next week's film commentary - Scary Movie 4 (not really, but I hate to leave posts on a downer). You probably just saved yourself a movie ticket to a crappy B movie by watching this trailer (but you also just lost 2 minutes of your life).

Sprung Forward While Hungover

2006-04-02T22:44:00.000-04:00

Note to self: Avoid signing up for races on the same day as Daylight Savings Time. Also, avoid devouring barbecue jambalaya, pouring pints of alcoholic fluids down the pipes, and sleeping less than six hours the night before. Not a formula for a highly motivating, feel-good morning come race day.

Today was my first competitive race in about eight months- a 6.2 mile "Urban Environmental Challenge," a trail race sponsored by the Van Cortlandt Park Track Club. Granted I felt like utter horse manure, the blue sky and brisk spring temperatures lifted my spirits and kept my bile in check long enough to complete the race in 48:09, which comes out to a little less than an eight minute mile. I was pretty pleased with this performance, considering that this was about the sixth time I ran since November (two of the six were sprints to catch a train to work, so if your really counting- four). My race training follows a pattern similar to that of a grizzly bear's active and dormant hibernation periods. Hopefully now with the additional daylight during the evening and temperatures warming up, this old bear will finally shed some excess fat reserves from winter, venture out of his cave and frolick in the woods...and crap in them.

Ghost Recon...Mediocre Warfighter

2006-03-29T22:11:00.000-05:00

So the reviews are in for the latest Tom Clancy Ghost Recon video game, Advanced Warfighter, and unfortunately for Xbox owners, it appears that those like me who were content on sticking with the current-gen version for now, will also need to be content with playing an inferior version of the game.

The overall consensus is that the Xbox game pales in comparison to the 360 version- not only in graphics, which any senile old man could have told you, but also surprisingly in gameplay. This is extremely disappointing for people like me who've been anxiously awaiting this game's release since seeing the amazing teaser footage shown at E3 last May. It's hard to believe that Ubisoft, the game publisher for this title, could not find a way to create a comparable Xbox experience to the 360 version, given the fact that EA was able to pull it off just recently with Fight Night Round 3. It seems like a case of rushing a product out the door before working out all the kinks, which is a bit odd considering that there are still today only a hand full of people in the video game community that own a 360 and have the ability to play the 360 version vs. the millions of Xbox owners out there. Cheap mofos.

If you're going to push out a game that was meant only to be played on a 360, why short change your audience and release a sub-par product that in essence emulates only a fraction of its original vision? Why even bother with an Xbox version? WHY? I'll tell you why- it's all about the Benjamin$. However, at some point there needs to be a threshold of what is an acceptable version of a cross-console game and what is utter camel piss. 'We need to take out the third-person over-the-shoulder gameplay option.' Okay, I can accept that. 'The player will only be able to control 1 additional soldier on the Xbox vs. a squad of 4 on the 360.' Seems like this kind of takes away from whole 'squad' based theme to the Clancy series, but okay, that too I guess I can accept. But once you start changing up things like player movement capabilities, HUD display functionality, and (don't even go there) weaponry (oh yes they did), what the hell are you offering other than a mod of the last Ghost Recon game.

If this is what the future holds for current-generation games, it won't be long until I'll be forced to drop $399+ on a new system to be able to play any half decent new games. Fortunate for me, there are still a good selection of 'new-classics' I have yet to play like Ninja Gaiden and Burnout Revenge that'll extend my Xbox life span a few more months.

R.I.P. Chef

2006-03-23T20:00:00.000-05:00

It's a sad day in the cartoon world. No, Chuck Jones is already dead. Sorry, Walter Lantz already bit the dust too (coincidentally today is exactly the twelve year anniversary since Mr. Lantz's kicked the bucket).

Yes, the portly, black, love machine/cook with the deep voice, simply known as 'Chef', was fatally wounded yesterday when he fell off a wooden bridge after it caught fire by a sudden bolt by lightening, impaled by a tree branch upon tumbling down the rocky cliff face, shot in the body by rifle fire, mauled by a mountain lion, then by a grizzly bear. For you sickos into snuff films, you can witness the horrible turn of events unfold here:

Not since the death of Maude Flanders on the Simpsons has there been such a devastating loss to the animated character community.

We will miss you jolly old fat man, and your salty balls...even if you're a crazed Scientologist*

DAMMNNNN YOOOOU CRUISE!!!!

*For more back story of the demise of Chef, click here.

Video Game Podcast Spotlight - Gamespot vs. IGN - Which One Sucketh?

2006-03-21T21:21:00.000-05:00

Although I don't purchase and play as many games regularly as I'd like to on my Xbox, I keep in touch with what's going on in the industry by visiting daily Gamespot.com and IGN.com, two of the most popular sites for video game news and info. For the longest time, I considered these two sites on equals footing, in terms of providing the most comprehensive coverage in games. They both provide essentially the same news, same videos clips, same screenshots. If I was looking for the scoop on the latest anticipated game, it would be rare that I would find different info that would not be other's site (mostly recent followings include Fight Night Round 3 (purchased), G.R. Advanced Warfighter, Black.)

Only recently have I begin subscribing to each of their weekly podcasts, and only now have I realize just how superior Gamespot is at covering video games over IGN. To put it bluntly, IGN's podcast licks the balls- it's as if you were listening to Ben Stein and Jim Lehrer do the play by play and color commentary for Monday Night Friggin' Football. Who could imagine video games could sound so insipid and stale? At one point I wondered if I accidentally was listening to an NPR podcast and the Story of the Day was how attendees at E3 this year would react to the recent crackdown of booth babes wearing scantily clad clothing.

Listening to the Gamespot's The HotSpot podcast, on the otherhand, is like overhearing a heated debate at a college bar among a table of guys over which movie sequel is the best of all time (in my book, Aliens wins by a tight margin over Empire.) These guys, and the occasional girl, have a blast, cracking satirical jokes, riffin' on each other, and making occaisional references to 80's glam-rock, the Simpsons, and D list actors, while still providing insightful and eclectic commentary about the latest video game news of the week. They add personality and a voice that this 31 year old can relate to and appreciate. Slightly silly and immature? Absolutely. But isn't that what video games are all about? It's friggin video games for cripes sake. If I wanted spend my commute to work listening to deep, stagnant dialogue about how to win the latest war game in modern combat, I'll listen to Tim Russert's Meet the Press podcast.

Back from Mormon Mountain

2006-03-19T16:04:00.000-05:00

Just returned back from Utah last night...mentally preparing myself to the grind of the office tomorrow after avoiding being 'wired-in' for a full week- although I unfortunately did have access to the Internet and used it for a few minutes on Wednesday to get my NCAA bracket in...not that I have any idea who has won or lost since the tournament started. I'm not even sure if there's money to be won in the pool that I signed up last minute- which brings me to question: 'What's the friggin' point'?

No injuries to report other than a bruised left knee from plowing into an ice boulder on the back Bowl at Snowbird on Thursday. I was glad to see that my bindings worked properly, releasing my skis upon impact, as they should when they are propelled at high speeds into an object of significant mass, thus allowing me to be hurled through the air with minimal wind resistance to ensure maximum distance from the impact point.

It appears that I missed only two big news items this past week that caught my eye this morning:

1) PS3 is now launching in November as opposed to Spring- Who didn't see that coming.
Prepare to be trampled over for this on Black Friday '06.

2) Jaromir Jagr hit the 100 point mark this season just last night as the NY Rangers dominated the Toronto Maple Leafs, 5-2.

With this milestone, he passes Rod Gilbert's record of most points in a season by a right winger, and becomes the 6th Ranger in franchise history to reach 100 points in a season- the last time that happened was when Mark Messier and Brian Leetch did it in '91-'92. It's been a long time coming that New York Ranger fans had something to cheer about this shit-box team. After 7+ years, it looks like this could be the season that spells the end of an era of pure garbage. The season ain't over yet, but with only 15 games left, and still leading the Atlantic conference over the Philadelphia Flyers, it's hard to imagine that the Rangers won't not make the playoffs this year. It's about friggin' time.

Packing for a Ski Trip, or the Apocalypse?

2006-03-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

I should be packing now, but I'm not. It's not that I'm a procrastinator...well, who am I friggin' kidding. In 24 hours I'll be in Park City Utah with several friends and will begin an eight day ski trip out West. I'm extremely 'stoked' (how that for West Coast powder talk), though, eight days is a long time, and the challenge I face figuring out what should I bring to keep me entertained is a difficult one. My company of friends will be terrific as it's been a several weeks since I've seen many of them (we all had the good fortune of deciding to get sodomized by the New York City real estate market after college and continue to dwell in the surrounding metropolitan area.) One could argue that with great friends, does anyone needs anything else? Hell bloody yes. Verbal human stimulation will only go so far with me. They'll be skiing of course, perhaps I'll try taking up snowboarding...though probably not. But what else could I bring to ensure I make the most of my time away from this bastard place called work? I came up with a short list:

Books? Reading is fun-demental!

Cards and poker chips? With a chance to make this an expense-free trip, why not?

Skiis and boots? If you got 'em use 'em!

Snowshoes? I just got these for my birthday, and if I don't use them now, when will I ever?

Running shoes? If snowshoeing is too slow, I have an plan B.

Hiking boots? If running is too fast, I have a plan C.

Hiking poles? Because people hiking look cooler with poles. Plus I will be prepared to defend myself if perchance I am assaulted by a threatening human, bear, or large rodent of extraordinary size)

Laptop? Because writing on pen and pad is stone age! Welcome to the 21st century son! Plus, my hands miss the feeling of carpal tunnel syndrome if I'm not typing by 10am.

Xbox? Considering my friends don't have Xbox Live, playing 4 way Halo 2 with people who aren't 10th grade racists from Tennessee will be a refreshing change.

Hmmm, looking at this list, bringing all this crap may be a bit of overkill. Considering I'm 5' 8", 160 lbs., (though 100% pure unadulterated muscle....and bones....and fat), once I have everything packed in my bag, including clothes and toiletries, I may resemble something like this:

Poor little tyke.

Or this:

Perhaps I should rethink my list...

The 78th Oscars May Be Over...

2006-03-07T20:19:00.000-05:00

But the Brokeback spoofs keep a comin'! You'd think this joke would get tired already (some of you may already think so), but personally, I can't get enough of them. Why? Not really sure. I think I simply enjoy ambiguiously gay humor...don't we all? But what I think I appreciate even more in these instances is the ingenuity involved behind these spoofs. There are some really creative mofos out there...with lots of time. This iteration uses more scene references than previous mashups, with inspiration drawn from the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe cartoon series. So those of you who've seen Brokeback will get more here than those who haven't.

I predict in the not too distant future an annual awards show is created to celebrate the best of these mashups and machinima. Regarding the latter, below is one of my personal favorites other than the Red vs Blue series. Using the Half Life 2 engine, someone recreated the courtroom finale scene from A Few Good Men...aptly titled A Few Good G-Men (the pun is obvious to those who get it).

The Snapshot- Vol. 2

2006-03-05T12:49:00.000-05:00

Another snapshot of what I've been consuming in recent weeks.

Books:
The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini
I don't often read fiction, but I needed a break from the political/military genre a bit and this was recommended to me. Incredible read. A man's story of redemption from a childhood experience that haunts him for over twenty years, Hosseini moves, enlightens and immerses you in the rich Afghan culture and history rarely exposed to Americans.

DVDs:
OLDBOY
This is one messed up movie. A Korean psychological thriller about a man who one day finds himself locked in a room where he's trapped for fifteen years, the story is a rollercoaster ride of twists and turns that gradually unfolds into one big mind fuck. Not since The Sixth Sense and Se7en have there been so many 'holy shit' moments in a film, this hands down takes the cake. With lots o' graphic violence to boot, this is not a date movie.

Movies:
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
I finally saw this film last night in pre-Oscars preparation, and I really enjoyed it. Beautifully shot, thought-provoking in its depiction of two men's struggle to bury themselves behind a facade of the mid-western 'Marlboro Man', what shocked me wasn't the 'man on man' action, but rather that the chick from The Princess Diaries showed her muffins on screen. What would Julie Andrews think!

Games:
FIGHT NIGHT ROUND 3 (Xbox)
Any game that I can digitally re-create myself to pummel the crap out of people, I'm sold. As the name indicates, this is the 3rd iteration of the EA Sports boxing franchise. Enhanced features, including more customization in fighting styles and a more balanced gameplay, make this game worth picking up. The analog joystick total punch control system allows you to feel the veracity of the punches you throw, evolving the gameplay experience of this genre to a whole new level. There's nothing more satisfying than throwing down against boxing's best and creating boxers out of people you know and beating the ever loving piss out of them.

TV:
PROJECT RUNWAY (still)
All I care about on TV right now is if Santino will win Project Runway in this week's finale.
Chloe, from the looks of it, your designs seem to have an 'marshmallow man' theme to them.
Daniel V., those hand bags you created from 8th grade woodshop class with be your downfall.

Music:
Music from TV commercials
I've recently added two new links on my sidebar: Adtunes blog and Song Title Info from TV Commercials. If you've ever caught a commercial and wanted to know what song that was, these links should come in handy. If you find the song and like it enough, drop down $.99 after finding it on iTunes search. My latest grab- Paul Oakenfeld's "Ready, Steady, Go" from Saab's latest spot.

When Hollywood Runs Out of Catchy Movie Titles...

2006-03-01T18:49:00.000-05:00

...They Will Recycle The Old Ones (and confuse the hell out of people).

Case in point: there's a film out now in theaters (though not for long) called Running Scared, starring Paul Walker, better known for his character driven roles in 2 Fast 2 Furious and Meet the Deedles. Now, I admit, I haven't seen this movie, and neither has most of America it seems ($3MM opening weekend), but from what I've read about it, this is in no way, shape or form a 'remake' or 'inspired by' the 1986 buddy cop comedy classic of the same name, starring Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal. That pisses me off.

As you can see from the images above, the only other thing these two films seem to have in common other than sharing the same name is that both poster design firms decided that red would be the best color to treat the title. How could New Line taint such a semi-decent 80's comedy flick with this dilapidated action-thriller drek!? If someone mentions Running Scared in the future, will people now first think of the shitty gangster movie starring that 2 Fast 2 Furious guy? That would be a low down dirty shame.

My question to the studio is, did they not have a $1,000 to hire a copywriter to come up with some original catchy title options? Perhaps they knew this movie was going to bomb like Hezbollah so they purposely gave it a recycled name thinking that perhaps fans of the 1986 movie would run to the theaters thinking it's a remake. Dumb asses! It's a sad state of the film industry, especially now more than ever, when studios are hedging their bets on remakes (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), sequels (Rocky 6), and adaptations (The DaVinci Code), that these mofos can't even come up with an original name for a crappy movie!

What absolutely kills me, after doing some further digging, was that I discovered that the 1986 Hines/Crystal Running Scared wasn't even an original title when it came out either! WHAT THE BLOODCLOT!!! There was a movie of the same damn name back in 1980 starring Ken Wahl (know for TV's Wiseguy), and Judge Reinhold (Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Unbelievable. I guess these shenanigans have been going on for a while.

I started to think about what other movies share this multiple personality trait, movies with the same title but completely different plots altogether, knowing that there has to be a few more of these chumps out there. I didn't have to look far in cinematic history to find one: Crash. Yes, this year's Oscar nominated film for Best Picture is a friggin' doppleganger. The other film of the same name if you can recall came out in the mid 90's, directed by David Cronenberg, and starred James Spader as a man who after a having a car accident, develops a sexual fetish toward car crashes. Not necessarily Oscar material.

If you think of any others that fit the bill, send me a post.

31 Going On 13

2006-02-27T20:06:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I turned 31 and spent the morning celebrating my 10 day old nephew's Bris. Bagel anyone??? I'll spare the play by play; let's just say I can now officially take 'Watching a person have his foreskin removed' off my list of 'Experiences I Least Look Forward That Are Comparable to Getting Punched in the Testicles". Other formally listed items already removed include "Get Five Root Canals in a Year" and "Experience Getting Fingernail Removed". Good Times!

On a lighter note, enjoy this quick flick: Predator in 10 Seconds.

Music to a Movie Geek's Ears

2006-02-25T17:24:00.000-05:00

If you're a movie geek and you don't have 1) a paid XM satellite radio subscription 2) a paid AOL.com account, or 3) DirecTV, you're missing greatest thing since sliced pineapple: XM Radio Channel 822, also known as Cinemagic- the only music station that plays nothing but soundtracks, scenes and interviews from movies.

My discovery happened one Sunday morning late fall of 2005. I was lounging on my couch, sipping on some Twinnings Earl Grey with Splenda, perusing the Arts and Leisure section of the Times. I flipped on my TV, selected my favorite Music Choice channel (80's), and noticed it was no longer there. After being initially very pissed, I realized a few moments later that what took its place and the rest of those channels was XM satellite radio, which composed of essentially the same mix of genre stations, with one exception- Cinemagic. My load almost hit the TV set right then and there.

I'm probably one of a small percentage of movie fans out there who listen to movie scores and soundtracks, so this post may have little interest to many of you out there. However, something occurred to me earlier this week that compelled me to write about it.

I was at work, listening to this station on my computer (via AOL), when all of a sudden while typing a hostile email to a co-worker, the micro hairs on my neck stood on end. Shivers ran down my spine. It took me a second to register the movie, but once I did, I couldn't believe my ears. Playing was the soundtrack to Day of the Dead, the George Romero zombie flick from the mid 80's (from the guy that made Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead (the original). I couldn't believe they were actually playing music from such an obscure movie, with an even more arcane score that so few people would recognize, me being one of them. The movie performed terribly at the box office, was gory as shit, and kept me up nights for the next several years after I saw it (at age 10- thanks Dad). Listening to the music brought me back to that age, and moments from that film that to this day I can't erase from my mind.
Damn zombies.

Experiencing the film again struck an emotional nerve, so much so, I was compelled to send an email to XM, acknowledging them for their fine work. While I was at it, I also provided a few suggestions of soundtracks I'd like to hear, including Predator, Crimson Tide, and music by John Williams. A few days later, I received an email from XM Radio- a response! Someone actually wrote me back thanking me for the feedback. A real human being, none of that "Thank you for your feedback SUBSCRIBER NAME HERE" crap- this email came from programming director himself and it wasn't a form email. Not only that, he informed me that my request has been submitted and to tune in Monday at around 8:02pm ET to hear them.

In a world of automated phone tellers....
In a world of heavily accented outsourced customer care centers...
In a world of shady cable and phone operators (F.O. Cablevision!)....
This is what I call customer friggin' service.

I Can Eat a Knob at Night...for $1.95*

2006-02-22T23:25:00.000-05:00

You can thank these three English blokes for spoiling what was until now a podcast-world free of capitalism. Starting next week, The Ricky Gervais Show, a comedy podcast hosted by the creators of The Office (the British TV show and the American version), will begin charging fans $1.95 an episode, and $6.95 for a season (at least 4 episodes). Speaking as a fan of the first twelve free episodes that just concluded, this, quite frankly, blows.

I can't say I'm surprised by the move, considering how popular the show has become in the UK and in the US- it is currently the number two podcast on Apple's iTunes, and has just entered the Guinness Book of World Records as the most downloaded podcast ever (in the short history of podcasting) at over 5 million. If you have not had a chance to listen to the show yet, you can still grab the last four shows from the first (free) season here. However, there are a few references to previous episodes, so I recommend you listen to each show in chronological order. If you enjoyed The Office, you'll enjoy this.

You may think, "Hey mister 'I need an 63' Plasma and an RPG', what's with the cheapness, tighty tightwad?" My beef isn't so much the $1.95 they will now charge for something that was free just a week ago, but more so the precedent they're setting in monetizing the growing digital medium of open personal expression. My prediction is that this continues to be a successfully downloaded series, and not long after others will begin to follow suit. I currently subscribe to more than 10 podcasts, and although three are NPR and PBS podcasts, which will remain free (thank you Helena Rubinstein Foundation!), the other seven plus I imagine will begin charging a fee to download, and that is just some cold shit right there.

A simple alternative would be to use a traditional broadcast ad revenue model- sell audio ads at the beginning, middle, and end of the shows, but considering that podcasts are still a niche market and have not yet 'gone mainstream', I would guess it's still a hard sell to advertisers given the small but growing audience podcasts currently attracts.

Bottom line, the future doesn't bode well for podcasts, or for any free digital content currently available on the web for that matter. Where the line will be drawn eventually as to how 'free' the internet is...time will tell. All I can advise is, as Chuck D best put it: "Fight the powers that be."

*The title of this post references a recurring joke on The Ricky Gervais Show's podcast: During a discussion between hosts Ricky Gervais and Karl Pilkington about a reality TV show, where contestants were asked to eat an animal's penis, Karl commented that he could not eat an animal's penis in the morning because he has a delicate stomach.

Karl then proclaimed, "I could eat a knob at night."... After Gervais mused on the show that the soundbite could be used in a dance remix, within a few days the Internet filled with dance songs using the soundbite as a hook. Listen to these sound mixes here.

Getting...older ...must ...spend... more ...money...

2006-02-19T19:30:00.000-05:00

So it's about a week until my 31st birthday, and thus begins an annual mental exercise I go through just about every year since I was a kid- I think about buying crap I absolutely have no need for whatsoever. Why does this yearly phenomenon occur? The shameful conclusion that I've drawn is simple yet quite unsettling: I am a slave to the American consumer marketing machine.

This conclusion is troubling to me for two reasons. The first reason is that I consider myself to be a fairly simple guy with simple tastes. Although I can appreciate the finer things in life on occasion (a nice glass of wine, a decent meal at a restaurant), I really don't consider myself a spendthrift when it comes to buying consumer goods. Example 1: There are t-shirts I still wear that are over 15 years old (that Marshal Law comic book t-shirt is impeccably made). Example 2: If there was no other food in my apartment, I'd be totally content with eating hot dogs 7 nights straight (don't be hating the processed Grade D beef products...it's the gift that keeps on giving).

The second reason is that I work in the advertising and marketing industry, so theoretically one would think that my exposure to this field would enable me to look through the barrage of consumer messages and see them for what they truly are- a series of smoke and mirrors imagery geared to temporarily hypnotize you in believing that something is missing from your life, persuading you that only you have the ability (and money) to alleviate that itchy 'buy me ' sensation. But no, not me. Apparently all these ads unconsciously give me a mental erection.

But I digress. I accept this behavioral dichotomy about myself, and now will revel in it.

Below is an edited list of things I've pondered purchasing for myself if I ever got that crack cocaine business off the ground in the early 90s:

1) Xbox 360

Price: $400
Why the hell do I need it?: It's the first and only 'next gen' game console out there. So what if there are only a handful of games available currently that I don't have any interest in, it matches my Ipod!

2) 63' Samsung plasma HDTV

Price: $10,000
Why the hell do I need it? There's no point in buying an Xbox 360 if you don't have an HDTV. And if I'd get an HDTV, it may as well be a plasma. And if it's a plasma, it may as well be as freakishly big as possible.

3) NVGs (Night Vision Goggles)

Price: $400
Why the hell do I need it? So I can see at night (duh). Not only do these look badass, I'd probably save a lot of money on my electric bill just by keeping the lights off in my apartment after sunset and wear these on my head. I'd definitely need to remember to take these off when paying the delivery guy.

4) Capuchin monkeys (2)

Price: unknown
Why the hell do I need it? How could you not want one of these, or two for that matter! I don't know exactly what I'd do with them, but I'd imagine my two cats would get along just fine. Can you say 'Tag Team Battle of the Species"?

5) RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade)

Price: unknown
Why the hell do I need it? Ever since I saw that scene in Die Hard when one of Hans Gruber's cronies blows up the RV in front of Nakatomi Plaza, I've always thought it would be fun to own one of these. However, considering this is now the weapon of choice for the Iraqi insurgency, I think my need for one of these bad boys is wearing off.

Old Time Basketball

2006-02-16T20:51:00.000-05:00

On my last post I think I gave NBA basketball a bad rap. Once in a while, I have to admit, I do enjoy catching those classic moments of the game- moments that put you in awe as you watch these six to seven+ foot tall warriors battle it out on the court.

'Yinka Dare' was kind enough to put a compilation of these classic moments together. My personal favorites involve Shawn Bradley "Fighting Vehicle". (I don't know if people actually call him that, but if not, they should...until they watch these clips). Enjoy.

(Warning: contains strong content that some viewers may find offensive, although probably no one that would be reading my blog).

99 - Double Down?

2006-02-14T22:41:00.000-05:00

The past few days the sports media has been swarming around this controversy over the illegal gambling ring allegedly linked to Wayne Gretzky's wife, model/actress Janet Jones, and his assist coach of the Phoenix Coyotes, Rick Tocchet. The news is buzzing over 'The Great One's' possible knowledge or involvement, especially now that The Olympics are in full swing and Wayne just landed in Torino to report for active duty as executive director of Canada's Olympic team, which begins competing tomorrow.

My question is- does anyone give a rat's ass?

You know it's a slow news day in sports when hockey is on the front page. This time of year is always a little difficult for most sports fans...no fantasy football, baseball is still months away- does anyone still watch basketball with all those egomaniacs and non-respecting, playa hater, ball hogging 'superstars'?

My point is that if the Olympics weren't happening right now, I doubt this story would anything but a fifty word snippet buried next to the horse track results in the paper. I'm a big hockey fan and even I could care less about this. Janet Jones is a rich actress/supermodel, so whatever happens to her, I'm sure she deserves it. Rick Tocchet, I hated that guy when he played for the Philadelphia Flyers, and he looks like pure evil, so in my book he already guilty. At least his orange jumpsuit in 'the pen' will match is Flyers colors from back in the day, so he won't be so out of his element. I wonder Rick if you can request to be #92 at San Quentin, so it'll be just like the old times, sitting in the penalty box, except when the guy sitting in the 'box' with you tells you that you must pee in the toilet sitting down, and that you answer when he calls you Betty.

As for Gretzky, Mr. Golden Boy with the porcelain dentures- how could he possibly be involved in such corruption? He was a NY Ranger. Gimme a break, eh?

Winter Finally Shows It's Got Some Balls

2006-02-12T22:05:00.000-05:00

The theme this weekend seemed to be Winter, with a capital W. How could it not be- there's about 20 inches of the white stuff outside my apartment building and most of the East Coast. The Winter Olympics are all over TV. I'm recovering from a cold (a Winter ailment), and to top it off, the NY Rangers secured the #1 position in their division in the NHL (a Winter sport) going into the Olympic break. I was even compelled to pick up a hockey game for my Xbox this weekend, knowing that I'd be snowbound and worried that my small attention span would drive me bonkers indoors without some fresh Xbox stimulation (I finished Far Cry Instincts about 2 weeks ago.)

Other than watching the Olympics and playing NHL 2k6, I was also able to dabble into Flickr. Check out the new module on the right - I plan to add more as I shoot stuff.

Grizzly Bear, 1 - Man with Much Grizzly Love, 0

2006-02-09T23:11:00.000-05:00

On more than one occasion I've fantasized about grabbing my backpack, stuffing it with the bare essentials, and escaping this city... to a simpler life, surrounded by earth's grassy landscape, filled with massive trees, fresh air, mountainous peaks and beautiful wildlife. It's this open expanse called the Great American Wilderness where I'd live off the land, learn to survive using the most basic instruments, and be one with nature, forever.

Then, something with the weight of a sledgehammer shatters this dream back into harsh reality. Sometimes my pop culture addiction reels me back in - "Well, if I leave now, I'll never know how Jack Bauer finds those terrorists with that nerve gas," or "I was really looking forward to playing Halo 3 when that comes out and buying an Xbox 360 eventually." Other times I think about the family and friends I'd leave behind, and my 2 cats: "Who will scoop up their turds and saturated pee/litter clumps?"

This time, the sledgehammer was a documentary that made me think, "what the hell was I thinking! It's friggin' suicide out in them thar hills! A bunch of wild animals are just waiting to bite a chunk out of my Asian ass and stockpile my nuts for winter! F-that!"

I caught this documentary, Grizzly Man, on the Discovery Channel the other day. It's about a grizzly 'expert' / wildlife granola dude, Timothy Treadwell, who spends 13 summers in Alaska's Katmai National Park studying and living among the grizzles ...UNARMED! The story's irony, as you can guess, is that this poor bastard ends up being eaten alive by the very thing he covets most in life. The kicker? The girlfriend he brings on this fateful trip also bites it.

The most fascinating thing about this film was that most of the story is told by Tim himself, through the hours and hours of footage he shot with his camcorder. From this unique first person narrative, you really get inside this guy's head, and you start to understand why would anyone want to get this close to these awesome but feral beasts, knowing at any moment, you're one grizzly bitch slap away from getting your head ripped clean off your shoulders and sent floating down a cold Alaskan stream...'salmon food' if you will.

Watching this film reminded me of my solo backpacking trip I took to the Adirondacks, September 2003. On the third night of a five night trip, sleeping in a lean-to with three other hikers, I heard the sound of branches crackling and some 'thing' huffing, like someone trying to blow a booger out of his nose by putting one finger against one nostril and blowing really hard, except much, much more frightening. We all sat up, leaned out of our lean-to toward where the sound was coming from, and saw two glowing orbs looking right at us, 30 ft. away. Two hikers aimed their flashlights on the orbs as I ran to get my Leatherman and hiking poles (at the time I thought it was a good idea).

When I returned, I almost crapped myself. In full Mag-lite visibility, this beast was GINORMOUS, and it was eating all our food! Apparently, this bear was quite skillful at breaking into bear bags strung up 20 ft. in the air. Although we were livid that our food, which should have lasted several days, was disappearing before our eyes, we hoped that it satiated the bear so it wouldn't come at us for its second course. After some non-intimidating shouts and banging, the bear eventually swaggered away, almost like it was saying "not bad, perhaps a little lighter on the mayo next time, huh boys".

That bitch cut my trip short two days.

I haven't been backpacking since, but I plan to this spring... unless that's when Halo 3 comes out.

Gays, Cowboys, and a Flying DeLorean?

2006-02-08T13:41:00.000-05:00

Mashups. Gotta love 'em. Though I haven't still yet seen Brokeback Mountain, I can't help but appreciate this quality adaptation of a Zemeckis classic.

Boy Meets Fist

2006-02-06T19:38:00.000-05:00

While millions this weekend were anxiously awaiting Sunday's Superbowl Championship Game between the Pittsburgh Steelers vs. the Seattle Seahawks, celebrating all the American goodness that comes with it- overeating, gambling, drinking, watching corporate America piss away $2.5 million faster than you can chew and swallow a mouthful of potato salad- I was just as excited for another battle- one that involves arm locks, kimuras, rear naked chokes, and lots o' fists in the face. This past Saturday, Las Vegas' Mandalay Bay hosted the highly anticipated UFC bout between two of the most dangerous, bad ass mofos in the mixed martial arts world- Chuck 'The Iceman" Liddell and Randy 'The Natural' Couture. With Couture taking the first fight in a dominating full-mounted ground and pound fashion (that's UFC fight speak, not a catchy lewd term -i.e. 'rusty trombone'), and Liddell striking his way to victory in the re-match, this finale was going to guarantee one thing- someone was going to get seriously f-ed up.

In the end, Couture wound up eating one too many of The Iceman's fists in round 2, and the fight was stopped to prevent any permanent damage to an already mashed up mug. Not long after the announcer formally declare Liddell the victor did Couture shockingly announce his retirement from beating the ever living piss out of people within an eight sided chainlink fence.
Here's the full recap.

If you've never seen one of these fights, don't knock its legitimacy as a sport. This is as technical as it is brutal, and believe it or not, it's actually safer in many ways than boxing. For one, the bouts are shorter- between 3-5 five min. rounds, so the number of blows to the head are less. Less blows to the head = less chance of brain damage. Good, yes? Also, a UFC referee will stop the fight immediately as soon as a fighter appears defenseless. A boxer on the other hand, can get his clock cleaned and drop multiple times each round, but as long as he can stand back on his feet and show the ref they can still lift his gloves within 10 seconds, off he goes on another visit to hamburger face city, which can last up to 12 rounds.

Here's a recent LA Times article on the growing sport of mixed martial arts (MMA), and the big business juggernaut the UFC is becoming.

Oscar, Oscar, Oscar....

2006-01-31T23:29:00.000-05:00

What do these films have in common? I haven't seen a damn one!

For those not familiar with the motion picture industry, today marks the first official day of the Oscar race. This morning, Mira Sorvino came out of her cocoon from Mimic to announce the nominations for this year's best films. Starting tomorrow, every Hollywood studio in the 'race' will begin pouring millions of ad dollars in Variety and the Hollywood Reporter to convince a bunch of old crusty Academy farts to vote their way. In turn, they hope this will result in selling a few more movie tickets, getting some bragging rights, and earning industry 'cred' in 'tha wood.'

Having seen most of the films nominated in the major categories (Crash, Munich, Hustle & Flow, Cinderella Man, History of Violence, North Country, Syriana), I can honestly say that I'm a little disappointed.

All I can keep asking myself is, where the hell is this guy?

I think the academy dropped the ball big time. The big hubbub immediately after the nominations was that Russell Crowe was robbed for not being recognized for his performance in Cinderella Man. Piss on this tantrum throwing, phone hurling Aussie. What about ol' Bale? This dude went from a walking skeleton in The Machinist to a jacked up badass mofo in a few months for Batman Begins, totally invigorating and saving an otherwise dead Batman franchise. His performance embodied Bruce Wayne and his transformation into the Dark Knight, giving hope to millions that the Batman legacy wouldn't end with George "Nipple Armor" Clooney and Arnold "Governator" as Mr. Freeze.

Booooo! Bad Academy, BAD!

Year of the Dog, biatch.

2006-01-30T16:52:00.000-05:00

Happy Lunar New Year! And yes, it is indeed the year of the dog. Randy Jackson, it's your year. DMX, I predict great things for you. I can see it now, hip hop artists everywhere are scrambling to get a new hook that incorporates 'year of the dog' into the next top hit, though it'll probably spell dog "dawg", yaheard!

To quote the Chinese Cultural Center of San Francisco:
Born in the year: 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006
People born in the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people's confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues. Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit.

Where my dawg's at motherf_#%$!

The Snapshot, vol.1

2006-01-29T21:00:00.000-05:00

Every few weeks I'll be posting a snapshot of what I'm currently 'feelin' at the moment, whether it be the latest book, movie, game, etc. You feelin it? No? FO!

What I'm reading: Generation Kill: Devil Dogs, Iceman, Captain America, and the New Face of American War

A powerful read from an embedded journalist's perspective of Desert Storm 2, as he follows Marines' First Recon platoon, the tip of the spear of US operations in Iraq, through its drive to Baghdad. Talk about FUBAR.

What I'm hearing: Neil Young

Sadly, I've up til now only 'heard' of his music, but never 'listened' to it. I'm finally catching up to what the baby boomers have been proclaiming for years- probably the only guy who can sound like he has his testicles in a vice, yet still rocks, and rocketh hard he does.

What I'm watching on TV: 24

Keifer Sutherland continues to raise his stock price to levels not seen since his days dating Julia Roberts and for his role in The Lost Boys. Although he was robbed at the Golden Globes by that english asshole on 'House', he's vindicated at the SAG Awards tonight taking the best actor for a TV drama.

Latest film seen: Munich

Decent flick, but dragged on a bit. Not the high caliber thriller drama I was anticipating. Eric Bana has still yet to pull himself out of the manure pit he dug for himself with Hulk and Troy.

Current game playing: Far Cry: Instincts

Fun FPS, although not very challenging- feral skills are immensely satisfying, but I think it makes you ridiculously unstoppable. Any game than enables you at anytime to swat the enemy 100 feet is bound to have game balance issues.

Current guilty pleasure: Project Runway

Fashion, drama queens, Heidi Klum (albeit pregnant), and gays- what's not to love! Sut up!

Nice Guy Deaddie

2006-01-25T23:26:00.000-05:00

Chris, Chris, Chris...what the hell happened? 40 years old! Dead. I'll always remember you acting in two of my favorite films, Reservoir Dogs and True Romance. Who could forget Nice Guy Eddie. Even though you were probably known as the less successful, slightly plumper brother of Sean Penn, I think I'd still rather hang with you with you. No question...well, not now of course, since your dead and all...that would be odd....slightly creepy...lots of awkward silences in the conversation. But even sitting next to a corpse would be a more pleasant experience than listening to Sean droll on about his personal missions to save the world. It seems like Mr. Spicoli has gotten too big for his britches these past few years. Just because he nailed Forest Gump's wife, bought a plane ticket to Iraq, and swam around in the bayou with a shotgun after Katrina, and have that renaissance pirate look about you now ta boot, I don't think his poop has stopped stinking. Never forget Shanhai Surprise!

RIP Chris.

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2006-01-25T20:04:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the first entry of The Flagrant Bowel, where you will find my personal perspective on TV, video games, movies, sports, books and other fun human distractions that occupy my time.

I plan to update this blog on a regular basis, so stay tuned and give me your thoughts- I love thoughts.